My Portion

Stream of consciousness....

2010-12-07T23:31:00.000-08:00

I wonder what it would be like to be really be known by another human. To be studied and thought about. To get to answer probing questions. To be loved enough to try and make sense of your mess. To not have to explain everything you do. When you are thinking, they know your thinking face. When you are sad, they know the right way to ask you about it. When you are worried, they tell you to stop, because they know that would encourage you and not make you angry. They would tell you the truth. You wouldn't have to explain yourself over and over. Misunderstandings would be few and far between, they would happen, but they would know you well enough to know that you would like to figure it out. They give you the benefit of the doubt. they understand that your tears aren't scary, they just come on often occasions. They would see your weaknesses and recognize their own, but love anyway. and even when they don't "know," they try to learn more...

I wonder what that would be like.

Knee surgery...

2010-11-10T18:17:00.001-08:00

I had knee surgery on September 28. About a month and a week ago. I am doing well and I would like to thank so many people who blessed my soul!

First, My Mom, Dad and Jenni for taking me surgery and being there for me. It is nice to know I am not alone.

Mom and Dad: for taking off work, waiting on me, cooking me meals, helping me with my meds and caring more than I ever could ask for.

Bethany and TK Scott: I will never be able to express how grateful I am for your friendship to me. Thank you for opening your house for a whole week and a half and letting me take over your home, thank you for meals, thank you for serving me. I am so blessed by you two!

Sandy: For coming to visit, bringing flowers, listening, praying and painting my toenails.

Jenni and Art: for laughing at me when I was high on Norcos. =)

Sylvia Cowells and family: for visiting me, bringing flowers and making me get well cards.

Melissa and Bekah: My two RAs who drove all the way to Beaumont to bring me starbucks and flowers.

Ian: Thank you for my guitar, the cheesecake, for moving me back, grocery shopping and lots of encouraging words.

Ashley Rotter: For making me a get well bag, with Starbucks and magazine.

Heather Hubbert: for DVDs, cards, pumpkin cookies, visits and never ending encouragement.

Kristin W: for the West Wing and your surprise visit, even though I wasn't there. ha ha

Marcella and Andrew: for the visit and subway lunch.

Colleen Chao: For driving all the way to Beaumont to see me

My RAs for the there never ending encouragement, visits, support and big huge chocolate cupcake! oh and the constant reprimands for walking too much! =)

Kyle Smith for visiting and making a delicious fall dinner.

Hillary B for the coffee and visits.

Jay Stovall for taking me to physical therapy.

Hannah: for the chick-fil-a, visits and rides to therapy.

Dorothy and Mel for the visit and cheer.

Paul, Lindsay and Ally for the surprise visit.

Stephanie, Hope and Anna for the lovely card and get well phone calls, I loved that!

There are so many ways that I was blessed.

Thank you God for a job that provides health insurance and for a great surgeon.

My heart is full.

Sorry about the pictures. That is weird.

Sufficient

2010-11-08T15:42:00.001-08:00

Lately, I have had blogger's block. A few of my dear friends have asked that I write again. Since I will have more time later, I thought I would post a quick and encouraging story I heard yesterday.
It is from Charles Spurgeon and his contemplation of the verse "My Grace is sufficient for you..."

He was riding home and he compared himself to a little fish swimming in the Thames River, and he was worried that he might drink too much water and dry up the river. The Thames said to him, "Drink away little fish. My stream is sufficient for you."

Next he thought of a little mouse in the storehouses of Egypt. He was afraid that his daily eating would empty the supply and he would starve to death. Then Joseph comes and says, "Cheer up, little mouse. My granaries are sufficient for you."

Then he thought of a man climbing a high mountain to reach its summit and dreading lest his breathing might exhaust all the oxygen in the atmosphere. The Creator booms His voice out of heaven saying, "Breathe away, oh man, and fill your lungs. My atmosphere is sufficient for you!"

What is it that you think will exhaust the Grace of God in your life? Drink deeply, eat your fill and breathe it in, for it never runs dry........

Oh Lord, I've given it my best, so take my love away....

2010-08-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

I was working in my office this afternoon on assignments and organizational stuff, so my soundtrack of choice was a sermon by CJ Mahaney entitled "Do Not Love the World." I have heard CJ speak a few times now at the RESOLVED conference and I find that I am deeply challenged by his messages and that my affection for Christ is heightened by the truth of his sermons. God works through him.

The sermon is quite convicting and I began to think of all the ways that I love the world. Towards the end of the sermon, he points out that love for the world makes our love for God absent. I began to think over this. It is VERY sobering. He asked many questions that pierced my mind and heart.

Am I more concerned about being well-liked and popular than I am about the gospel truth?
Am I haughty about what I do and what I am good at?
Are my desires for worldly success and pleasure?

Mahaney points out that worldliness begins with examination of the heart, not the world. He says the world will dazzle you...

So I bought the Book "Worldliness."

I am really nervous to read this. Honestly. I am realizing that so much of my mind and heart are focussed on the things of this world and not on the things above. I focus on the fleeting instead of the will of God which is eternal.

AND the other day I took out my old Shane Barnard CD. There is a song on the album "Rocks Won't Cry," entitled "Take my Love Away." Take my love away from the World and Me. Oh Lord, I've given it my best, so take my love away....

Here I come Conviction, I hope you welcome me in and lay it on me easy. For I fear I will be spending alot of time with you in the next few days.

Please listen to that sermon. It is on the Sovereign Grace website. It is good for your good.

Here's hoping

2010-07-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

I really 'hope' that someday I can live in this Greenwich Village neighborhood. Manhattan, NYC.

You know, there are alot of things that I hope for in this life that I might not receive. I always toss the word 'hope' around like it means the most trivial thing. "I really hope my mom makes chicken enchiladas on Sunday for dinner, I really hope that I get invited to that party, I really hope that the US wins this soccer game against Ghana!"

...Then I get disapointed.

It goes deeper as well. "I really hope I get married, maybe even before all my younger siblings do? Maybe before I turn 30?"

...Then I get disapointed.

BUT, Hope is a gift from the Almighty and Gracious Father meant for His chosen. His chidren. It is a hope that will never end. He meant it for our souls, our satisfaction, our perserverance, our delight. For when we hope in the ONE TRUE GOOD GOD, we are delighted, we laugh at the future, and long for His nearness. When we hope in the things that He has given us....

...then we are never disapointed.

Talking to yourself....

2010-07-15T10:31:00.001-07:00

Well, as many people are, I talk out loud to myself all the time. Most of the time it is a list of things I need to do and it doesn't have significant impact on my soul. Recently I have begun to practice the discipline of speaking truth to myself instead of listening to mySELF. SELF lies. Emotions are not truth, however powerful they may feel. The Gospel is the Truth.
Would you join me in this? It brings perspective and it centers your thoughts on the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Read this:

“Preach to yourself” by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones:
“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc.

Somebody is talking. Who is talking? Yourself is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul?’ he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: ‘Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you.’…

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: ‘Why art thou cast down’– what business have you to be disquieted?

You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: ‘Hope thou in God’– instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do.

Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God.’”

– D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Its Cure (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1965/2002), pages 20-21.

Also, listen to CJ Mahaney's sermon Downcast Soul/Hopeful Soul from the Resolved Conference website. It is from the 2009 conference. Worth every second.

I'm gonna go tell myself to Hope in Him,
Merea

How To:

2010-06-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

So many times I have tried to write this blog. I have given up every time because I refuse to be the woman who writes about prolonged singleness. I think somehow if I write about singleness it will keep me in a forever state of singleness, I will become the woman no man wants to date because they fear I would get serious too fast due to my candid blogposts about not wanting to be single, and then, I would be known as that woman you refer your single friends to, "You should read Merea's blog, she is single." NOOOO, I don't want to know how you feel, I want to be married. HA HA HA. and then my greatest fear of writing about singleness is perhaps the fear that God will actually use what I say in other women's lives. You say, "Wait, isn't that what you want Merea??" Yes, I do. But I would rather God use me in other ways. Why can't He use me in Married women's lives, mother's lives? Well......you see my point. =)

Now that I have admitted, confessed and repented. Here I am. Ready to write about it. and I TRULY hope this will encourage some of you out there. Whoever you are in the world wide web.

I decided I would write a 'How To' article that applies to Christian women who are 25 or older and have a desire to get married. Similar to the popular magazines out there, maybe they will publish this?? lol, jk, but seriously. Here's hopin.

How NOT to be encouraging:
So many people are well meaning when they say these things, and they make a single gal's heart just burst in two. I just thought I would let you know.
1. "When you finally reach contentment, God will bring Him along." OR "Stop looking, that's when it always happens." NOT ENCOURAGING. and I really want you to examine that faulty statement. Do you actually mean what you are saying? That I need to achieve something (contentment) to get a blessing from God? So those married are content and singles are not? You have achieved something that I have not achieved yet? I don't think that is true.
2. "Just enjoy being single right now." NOT ENCOURAGING. Just because it is hard occasionally, and we actually still have that deep longing to be married with children of our own, does not mean that we do not enjoy life. Sheesh. Now, I realize some women REALLY need to do this and stop moping around. However, I would venture to ask. Would you say that to a barren woman? What you are really telling a single woman(who wants to be married), is "just enjoy being unable to live out your deepest longing, just enjoy it." I don't think so. Not encouraging.
3. "Are you putting yourself out there?" NOT ENCOURAGING. What does that even mean in a Biblical context? I am very active, have a lot of guy friends, and am involved in a ton of activities. I still would like to be the woman that has a man pursue her. "If you chase a man, you will be chasing him the rest of your life." -Mark Driscoll
4. "You have all the time in the world." NOT ENCOURAGING. I might have time at home, but I don't have a family to come home to every night, I don't get to debrief the day with a spouse, and I am alone. Besides, single women have to work, they don't have all the time in the world.
5. Being afraid to talk about it. NOT ENCOURAGING. Single girls want to be asked about their lives.

How TO encourage your over 25 Christian girlfriends:

1. "You will have so much to offer your husband one day." That is the single most important and encouraging thing you can say to someone like me. I get teary eyed just typing it, some of us feel like we are old and not as fresh as we should be for a man. Hearing that we still have a lot to offer and have the potential to be great wives and mothers one day is really, SO ENCOURAGING!
2. Invite us to your family gatherings. Children's birthday parties, etc. I have heard so often "I am sure you don't want to hear about all of this boring baby stuff." yes, we do. Well, I do. and I am almost positive the rest of us do.
3. Tell us you are praying that God will grant us our heart's desire. SO ENCOURAGING.
4. Tell us that you understand why we are discouraged. SO ENCOURAGING. Having someone say to me "I don't understand either," is nice. Don't know why, but it is.
5. Point us to Christ. That is ALWAYS ENCOURAGING.

Now, I hope this does not have any hint of bitterness in it. That is not my heart at all. I just thought it would be nice to know how to encourage one another. NOW, I am going to task my friend Stephanie Rogers to write a "How to Encourage your married mothering friends." Because I know I fall short in that area. =) She is the greatest person to write this. I respect her so much.

For all the single ladies out there,
Merea (can't believe I just posted that, ahhhhhhhh)

Dream Like New York....

2010-06-13T21:26:00.000-07:00

I took these while in my favorite city. I want to live there....

If only....

2010-02-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

If us girls spent the same amount of time thinking about how to walk in righteousness as we do what we look like....

If our fear of getting spiritually complacent matched our fear of gaining weight...

If our detest for ugliness became a detest for sin....

If our desire for a man became dim in light of THE SON OF MAN....

If the desire to be successful in other's eyes became a desire to love others unconditionally....

If we were more concerned about being kind than being talented....

If we understood forgiveness....

If we stopped thinking about ourselves....

If we hoped instead of worried....

If only....

Another Brother

2010-01-02T08:58:00.001-08:00

We were in New York...

It was cold and beautifully Christmaslike...

We walked out of the subway across the street from Central Park....

Joey Logan was there waiting for my youngest sister Hannah....

It was a surprise, he came to New York City to surprise her.......

and propose marriage.....

She said yes.

My new brother. Joey Logan. =)

This relates very well to my last post. =)

2009-12-07T20:02:00.001-08:00

Thankful, in every situation, even singleness....

2009-11-22T15:19:00.000-08:00

It is funny to me how many people feel the need to feel sorry for me. How uncomfortable people are with the fact that I am, shall I dare say the dreaded word? Single. OH DEAR HEAVENS! Say it ain't so!!!!!!

I actually had someone say to me:
"My family and I were talking about you the other day Merea, and how we all feel really sorry for you."
I said, "Really? Why is that?"
They said "Well, you know, how you are single and not dating anyone and your sisters all are and they are getting married before you and everything."
YES folks. That actually happened to me. I can only laugh at that. I get comments like that often. Actually, many people feel the need to "fix" my terrible condition. Tell me all the ways I can remedy this catastrophic situation in my life. "Are you putting yourself out there?" "Do you have any guy friends?" "You know if you finally realize that you would be okay single and content, God will bring someone along." At my sister's wedding: "well Merea, we thought you would be first, we need to get you married, etc."

I just wanted to tell everyone to stop. I'm okay. Are you going to be? Stop feeling sorry for me, I do that enough on my own for Pete's sake, as we all do. lol.
Now, I must admit, I want to get married with all of my heart and soul. I want to find a Godly man, commit my life to him, and have a family. I am ready for that and have been for a very long time. BUT GOD doesn't have that for me right now. There are so many people who tell me, without even knowing my heart, that if I am content being single that God will finally bring the right man along. What if God wants me to be content IN singleness? What if God is constantly teaching me about reliance on Him as I walk this path that I would not have chosen on my own? What if He has a different plan for my life? Would that be okay?

Let me tell you about my life right now. Maybe you won't feel sorry for me anymore. I am young, 28 and beautiful, if I might say that. =) I have a job that allows me to minister to 18 and 19 year old women. I get to laugh with them, teach them, pray for them, tell them about Christ, and see them grow. I have a wonderful variety of friends, and yes, alot of good guy friends, who encourage me often. I have a beautiful apartment where I host parties and make dinner for those girls and friends all the time. God has given me the ability to sing, and I get more and more opportunity to use that everyday. I have had the opportunity to travel to nine different countries, I have seen New York at Christmas time, and am headed to Seattle for a spring break service trip. I got to be in two musical productions last year. I have a wonderful family, who have blessed me everyday in more ways than I can count. A Godly father who preaches the Word, a Mom who cares about even the details of my heart, 3 sisters who are and forever will be my best friends, and a brother who makes me cry because I am so proud of who He is becoming for Christ.
I have health and shelter.

But most of all....
I have a God, who sent His Son to die for my sins, who gave me abundant and eternal life, who adopted me into His family, made me an heir, and counted me righteous.

What more could I have?

I would challenge everyone, no matter what walk of life you are at, to encourage those single adults you know, not feel sorry for them. Invite them to your home, because they are friends, not out of pity. and introduce them to your other single friends. ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Happy Thanksgiving, from one thankful single woman, who needs to write this post more than others need to read it. Good reminder to myself.

Love Stinks

2009-09-26T12:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Weather.com,

Everything you say to me is disappointing. I wait in expectation for your declaration of love to me and my heart breaks over and over again! You lead me on and toy with my emotions in ways I cannot express. How can you live with yourself?

You know how much I love sweaters. You know how my heart leaps for joy when I can see my breath in the air. You know how beautiful I think the color of changing leaves and the smell of fireplaces burning is. Why? WHY?? WWWHHHYYYYY????

You know how much cuter I am in scarves, hats and warm sweatshirts. Why must you torture me over and over again with summer clothing.

I get sick, literally sick, because I go from Air conditioning to gusts of HOT air and my emotions are overwhelmed!

Hot coffee is better than iced coffee.

Please! Some good news would be welcome. Tell me how much you love me, whisper sweet nothings into my ear, embrace me, kiss me with kindness.

Always anticipating your love, tell me what I want to hear Baby,

Merea =)

CHANGE: Friend and Foe

2009-08-14T22:26:00.000-07:00

CHANGE.

A word that has come upon me so swiftly in the last 4 days, I can hardly breathe.

Change has never come easy for me. Sometimes it excites me, sometimes it scares me terribly. This time it is both.

There are so many ways that my life is changing drastically this week and I am a bit overwhelmed, emotional, excited, sad, stressed, scared, confident, lost and nostalgic. Just to name a few of my feelings. and yes, I feel each of those so true through my mind and heart this week.

This week on Monday, I interviewed with the President of California Baptist University for a job that I have been interested in for awhile. The Director of the Women's Dorm. I was hired on Tuesday morning, and asked to start on Wednesday. Tuesday I went into tell Arrowhead Christian Academy, a place so near and dear to me, that I was leaving for sure. I showed up Wednesday at 8 am and have been in meetings or packing ever since. I move into a new apartment this weekend and change my life drastically.

I was given 3 hours on Thursday morning to clean out my classroom that I have been teaching in for the last 5 years. I didn't realize the toll it would take on me. As I opened each desk drawer and cleaned out each cabinet I saw the many student projects, personal thank you letters and pictures that I have kept for encouragment. See, I had fallen deeply in love with each of them, in the most sincere way I can explain. Each day I had them smiling at me, learning from me, listening, and watching them grow. I had a staff and faculty around me that committed to the cause of Christ so passionately and encouraged me to do the same. I am having a hard time leaving so quickly. I knew there would come a time, but I didn't think I wouldn't have the time to say thank you and tell them I will miss them and take time in my room closing the door to that chapter.

But I want to say that. To the students, fellow faculty, and staff of ACA: It has been an amazing 5 years, I have lived and learned along side of you, seen you grow, prayed for your hurts and you have prayed for mine, and seen Our Savior in you. Thank you and Goodbye. I will miss all of you, and I hope to see you soon. Go Eagles!

Change also came in my family: our dog, Sadie, a beautiful golden retriever, who was in our family since I was in elementary school, died on Wednesday. Everytime I came home to our house in Beaumont for the last 15 or so years, she was there to greet me. When we were growing up and one of us wasn't home, she would wait at the door for us sleeping and then when we came home she would return to her regular bed. She was a part of our family. I know that might sound odd to some, but she was. We even had a stocking for her at Christmas time. I miss her. She had a rapidly growing tumor and was in pain and my Dad decided to put her down on Wednesday. Which was day one of my new job. Change wasn't good then. Bye Sadie. Thanks for being such a cute puppy, fun companion to take walks with, and always happy to see me.

Along with all the other things I will be leaving my two wonderful roomies, Colleen and Sarah, to live alone in the top floor of a girl's freshman dorm. There is an apartment there, of good size, but it is not the same. I know that the ministry that will take place as a result of living there will far outweigh the hardships, it is just another one of the many drastic changes that I am facing with excitement and timidity. To Colleen and Sarah: Thank you for showing me unconditional love, being my sounding boards, counseling me through hard times, and having lots of fun. I will miss getting to see you everyday. You both mean so much to me. I love you both. There are not enough words.....

So yes, CHANGE. Something that has slapped me in the face and delighted my soul all at the same time.

I will be glad on that day, when seasons stop changing, we say no more goodbyes, we are not scared, stressed or tired. But our faith will be made sight, hope will be realized, and prayer will turn into praise. Praise, to the unCHANGEing God, the beginning and the End, our Life. Him. who changed us.

Joy to find in every station....something still to do or bear...

2009-07-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

This hymn has rocked me to the core this summer. Read the words slowly, it is so rich with truth. Hard truth. May I will be able to sing these words and mean them with all my heart.

Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own

Man may trouble and distress me,
’Twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me;
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me,
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
O while Thou dost smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me,
Show Thy face and all is bright.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,
Come disaster, scorn and pain
In Thy service, pain is pleasure,
With Thy favor, loss is gain
I have called Thee Abba Father,
I have stayed my heart on Thee
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Soul, then know thy full salvation
Rise o’er sin and fear and care
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
Think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee,
Child of heaven, canst thou repine? (repine: to be fretfully discontented; complain)

Haste thee on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith, and winged by prayer.
Heaven’s eternal days before thee,
God’s own hand shall guide us there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission,
Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope shall change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

From Garbage to Growth for Good...

2009-07-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

This summer I prayed about what passage to study, and all I heard in my mind was Galations. It was obvious that I needed it. The Lord has taught me so much in the last 2 months of my life.
I was recently sitting with my family on my parent's back porch. My Dad was commenting on a tree in our backyard that would not grow, no matter what he did! He trimmed it and watered it. Nothing. He said that a few years ago, he just had had enough and hacked it all the way to the ground! Then he looked at me and said, "and look at it now, its grown into a beautiful tree." He would not know how much that describes my life in the last year. God has pruned me, hacked me down and stripped me. All to begin sin awareness and ultimately new growth. Galations talks of living dead to your old ways and walking in the spirit. Also, Romans 8. God will take us through whatever it takes to conform us to the image of His Son. He calls that our good. May we see His discipline as a friend, our good.

Read Galations and Romans 8 this summer if you are looking for a place to start.

This is quite personal, but I thought that it might encourage some.
My summer prayer:

Dear Father,
Praise to You who know so well what to do with me.
I praise You for Your sovereign plan to do GOOD
and by that you mean conformity to Your precious Son, our treasure, Jesus Christ.

Help me to accept Your good intention for You've promised good to me.
Satisfy me in Your lovingkindness, that I may be glad all of my days.

Forgive me for sinning against You in lust, bitterness, jealousy and selfishness.
Help me to live in freedom, not in bondage, for I am set free of sin!
Adopted into Your inheritance, Your child, redeemed for Your pleasure.

Take my singleness and use it for Your glory.
May I accept what You have for me in this time
whether it be dessert or mountain top.
May I prove, over and over, Your goodness to me.

Help me fulfill Your law by loving others as I love myself.
Grant me the ability to think of others instead of wallow in self-pity.
Forgive me for that.

Turn these wasted years into restored goodness.
Strengthen me in Your Word. For Your Word is good.

Help me to die daily, recognizing what it means to be crucified with Christ,
putting off the flesh and living by faith in the Son of God
who loved me and delivered Himself up for me.

Thank You for grace.

Summer 2009.
My beginning journey out of the pit.

1918

2009-06-14T13:02:00.000-07:00

Photo taken in 1918 at Camp Dodge. 18,000 men training in an army camp. How cool is that?

Thankful....

2009-06-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

Right now I am really thankful for my roommates. This year they have become my family. I come home everyday and we laugh and have a blast. Most of all, they love me despite my weakness and I am blessed to have found people like them in this stage of my life.

Sarah Day- thanks for always listening to me and always wanting to hang out. I have so much fun with you. You mean the world!

Colleen Langley- thanks for laughing at me and making me laugh every night, thanks for encouraging in the Lord and praying!

I love you both!

2009-05-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

I had the best weekend.

I am loving my new book club. Even though we only met once.

I am being broken and humbled more than ever before.

I miss my friends.

I loved seeing Marcella, Alex and Andrew on Saturday.

I am way being in grading because I had too much fun this weekend.

My Dad and Mom just celebrated there 25th year at Fellowship in the Pass Church. It was amazing.

I love my life, may I always remember the blessings.

2009-04-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

The Students and I in Ukraine

2009-04-21T19:36:00.001-07:00

Longing vs. Discontentment

2009-04-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

I think, perhaps, these two things have such a fine line between them. and lately the difference between them in my life is unrecognizable.

How do you find the healthy balance of keeping your deepest longings and not becoming discontent with them? I don't know if I have met any woman who has been able to conquer this.

I think and wonder if the longings should not be there, but that can't be right, we have desires, God promises to meet them if we first delight ourselves in Him. BUT my longings turn into deep discontentment in .00001 seconds. It might even be quicker than that. So should they be there? I must admit that most of what I long for has not been met. That is hard.

Maybe my deepest longing needs to change?

Maybe my deepest longing should be Him. Him, Christ, my Savior, Redeemer, Counselor, friend..... Yes, thats it.

But how? its harder than it sounds. It shouldn't be hard at all. He is beautiful and wonderful.

I believe Lord, help my unbelief.....

I'm in Ukraine.... Hi Koren.

2009-04-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

We are here, it is going well. I am feeling better. We are planting trees today at the orphanage and the students are doing a great job with everything. Pray for us! Jenni, tell Bas, Jon and Rick that I hope the praise night goes well.

I miss everybody. Love everybody.

Curtis, just read your blog from Ukraine. Ho-made fries? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Bye!

UNCOMFORTABLE

2009-03-04T19:24:00.000-08:00

If anyone reads my blog that seriously you would remember the challenges that I set for myself last summer. It was called "Do Hard Things." I expanded my list a bit on my own. I thought I would update you on how that is all going.

1. One of the things was to get knee surgery. arghh. Did it. Found out I have a disease. The tumors are back. Which makes running a 5k impossible for me at the time, which was the next thing on the list. Oh well. When life gives you lemons right?

2. One of the things I challenged myself to was to become a better musician. Well, God thought I was serious on that one. Since then, I auditioned and became a professional Dickens Christmas Caroler. Got paid to sing all weekend. BUT it was stinkin hard. I had to train my ear to hear an alto note and find an alto note when they played the soprano note on the pitch pipe. eeek. Did it. Sang for Carol Channing, she said we were wonderful. If you don't know who she is, she starred on Broadway as the original Hello Dolly and starred in the movie "Thoroughly Modern Millie."
AND I learned to play, very simply play, the accordian and trumpet. Working on learning the cello as well. I know 5 notes on the cello. I love learning instruments. Who knew? It is amazing what we can do if we challenge ourselves.

I had a conversation with a great new friend at church named Kat VanRhee. She and I were discussing that it is important to not remain comfortable. And we agreed that it is not only related to spiritual things, it is just good to challenge yourself in many areas. She ate sushi, I learned the trumpet. and yes, those are equally hard for Kat and I. =)

3. The next goal I had was to become a morning person. I am getting better and since then have enjoyed the occasional early morning. When I get up, I enjoy them. There is something special about morning air, the quiet of the streets, the sunlight, and just being up earlier. I think maybe we were designed to be up. Well, I need help on this one.

4. One of the goals was to become financially responsible and aware. I am currently enrolled in a class at my church called "Financial Peace University." Dave Ramsey rocks and I feel enlightened. Finally getting there. Plan to be close to done with my loan this year and live debt free. Woot woot. Working on it. Definately not there yet. BUT sure am learning. The detailed budget is the kicker, stick to it Merea, stick to it!!!!!! Us singles have a hard time with impulse purchases and the "we owe it to ourselves" lie. Here I go, hard things. man.

5. Keep in touch with friends better. that is my next one. Stephanie, what do you think? Have I done better at all? =) and Rachel Marshman, I have been meaning to call you chica!!!!!! I am working on it. ha ha ha.

6. Tap into my inner thespian. It has been peeping out more and more lately, well, it is full blown. I love performing in musicals. I have been in 2 this year. and realizing that I should have been doing this more. I love it.

Do hard things!

Much love from the aspiring thespian, accordian playing, trumpet blowing, dickens caroling, tumor infested, financial guru, early mornin lovin(hating sometimes), ever failing and trying again.... Merea

Peace.
(the picture after my show the other night, fake eyelashes, oh sweet theater makeup bliss)

Ecclesiastes: The Wisdom of King Solomon.

2009-02-26T10:39:00.001-08:00

We open this weekend! Here is what I have been up to:

Come See the musical I am in...... or just look at the cool pictures.

2009-02-16T22:46:00.001-08:00

The pictures turned out interesting. Come see the musical. Ecclesiastes: The Wisdom of King Solomon.
GO TO:
lifehousetheater.com

Brokenhearted

2009-01-31T19:06:00.000-08:00

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and lifts those who are crushed in spirit.

my heart is heavy for the brokenhearted.

All year long I have been dwelling on the brokenhearted, I even remember praying specifically for brokenhearted people on new year's eve.

In this unpredictable life, when things don't work out like you thought, when you question everything, when your heart breaks in two....

He knows the way you take....(Job 23)

He holds your tears in a bottle...(Psalms)

He is a shield about you and the lifter of your head...(Psalms)

He gives hope...(Romans)

those whose mind is stayed on Him, He gives perfect peace...(Isaiah 26)

So stay your mind on Him dear brokenhearted, fix your eyes on our treasure Jesus. Your strength and your heart may fail, but He is the strength of your heart and your portion forever....

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and shelter be
as long as life endures

as long as life endures....

One day, all of this will end, we will remember our tears no more....

Hold on. HOPE ON.....

A couple things....

2009-01-19T09:46:00.000-08:00

I was cast in Lifehouse Theater's production "Ecclesiastes." It is a musical and I will be posting more about it later.

the Transformed Conference with Ray Comfort, Todd Friel, Kirk Cameron and Emeal Zwayne was at our church this weekend. It was one of the best conferences I have been to. The speakers are biblical and challenging, and really brought the heat from the pulpit.

Around 2,000 people were at our church on saturday and multiple people commented that this was the most hospitable and servant hearted church they had ever worked with. Praise God! I love our church. Must have some good leaders.........

One is my Dad....

Wasted?

2009-01-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

This new year's eve I went to a happenin party. Swing dancing 30's theme. There was also a time of worship to ring the new year in, and I was able to sing and play the piano in the band. I suppose the highlight of the night for me was one line, in one song we played....

He will wipe away your tears and return your wasted years.... This is our God.

Do you ever feel like you have wasted time? I do.

I hope I focus less on myself, my desires, my longings and my dreams.... and more on others. This is that place that I have wasted an extremely large amount of my time. What do I want to do? Why is nothing happening to me that I want to happen to me? It seems that any deep desire I have is not coming true.

A wise woman, my mother, once told me that pride is selfish focus on yourself. Whether it is puffing yourself up or pitying yourself.

It was my sophomore year of high school. All girls go through a self loathing period in high school in which they think nothing goes their way, everyone is prettier than them, their parents hate them, no boys like them, and the world revolves around them. Don't lie girls, you remember it. I remembering going through one of those self loathing times, and my mom told me, "You know Merea, you're being really prideful right now." WHAT?!!!!!! I hate myself, I'm not prideful!!! lol. Then she gently explained to me my unhealthy fixation on myself and MY life is selfish. I will never forget that conversation as long as I live.

It is sooooo true and we women(I say women because I've never been a man, but I'm sure they are the same) need that reminder so often. Especially in our self-loving, self-worshipping culture.

Christ died for every bitter thought and every evil deed so we have no guilt in life and no fear in death...

May we take captive every thought this year.... and watch God restore the wasted years.....

Happy New Year friends. Thanks for reading....

From Merea.....just me....

2008-12-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

One of the joys of this season, that I cherish so dearly, is being with family and friends. Another is receiving Christmas Cards from my dear friends and their families. It is so cute to see my friends, their spouses, and their children as they posed for their card shot and wrote about the year they have experienced. I enjoy reading and being updated on their lives.

So, I would feel really lame as a single. No family. Just me. If I sent out a Christmas picture and update. But I thought I would do so here, on my blog. So, here goes....

Merry Christmas from Merea!

This year has been an eventful one for me, not in the way some would hope, but in a way that God has designed.

Allyson came home from Turkey around this time last year. I invited her to a New Year's Eve party I was attending and she invited a boy. That boy shortly became her boyfriend, fiance and husband. It was fun being maid of honor in her wedding and seeing God provide a love for her that loves Him even more. It was hard too, because you see, I am the oldest. Many comments were made about people feeling sorry for me because my younger sister is getting married before me. I'm okay. It was an exciting time for all of us. God knows what He is doing(I must admit, that sentence costs a lot for me to say and believe, but I do).

Later on that spring, I was a lead in a really fun musical. I have had a lifelong dream of being a musical actress and I got this great role. I got to sing like a large african american woman(which, if you know me, you know that I fit the part well), be the sassy villain, and dance around performing like I had always dreamed. Because of that show, I have been asked to perform in a few different places. and so the bug has bitten.... I love it!

During spring break I was asked to chaperone a trip to Ukraine with my students. So many of them have a heart for the nations now, it was a blessing buying 150 pairs of shoes for 150 orphans and watching my students pass them out, knowing that was the only pair of new shoes they would receive that year. My job, it is great. "Whatever you do to the least of these....."

That summer I returned to Ukraine, but with my church trip. With a miracle gift and a tax return I was able to go. This trip meant so much. There were 3 team members 70 years old or above. Each of them became a special friend and mentor to me. That is one thing that I love about church, my church in particular. The diversity of age. I sat with a new friend who was involved in espionage during the Cold War and knows how to speak Vietnamese who taught me to love the nations even more. A 75 year old woman who spent her life telling her kids and sunday school class about missions and said "its about time I go on mission after teaching it for so long." and a few others in their 50s, 40s, 30s and 20s. When we got there the fields were ready for harvest, and people were hungry for the gospel. It was awesome. I could write for hours about what God did. I meant a girl name Mira, she still comes to my mind often. She came up to me and said that she read my blog and we instantly became friends. She taught me how to be passionate and serious about sharing my faith. I hope we will meet again. On the way home, Jenni, one of my other younger sisters and I were walking through the airport and she told me she thinks she was in love....

So this fall she got engaged, to Jake. (see previous blog) I will never forget that moment. =)

This fall I have been teaching and planning school events. We had a theme of Monopoly for homecoming(which I am in charge of) and it was a great success. Glad that it is over though....

My best friends, Stephanie and Marcella gave birth to Andrew and Anna. Amy got married and we all met in Colorado Springs for a wonderful time. That might have been the highlight of my year. My 4 best friends and I were finally together again. I miss them so much. I'm the only single one left now. I am so thankful that God has provided each one of them with Godly men and wonderful families.

This Christmas season I became a professional singer for some extra money. I auditioned to be in a Christmas Caroling group. I made it. It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun. I am growing as a musician because of it. Which fits into my summer challenge to do hard things.

I had knee surgery and they found that I had a rare disease called villonodular sinovitis. Yeah, tumors in the joints. They are back already, so pray that they will leave. =)

Highlights of my personal year:
a few of my students wanting to witness to the nations after they listened to my lesson on the unreached.
Another writing me a note and saying they want to serve God more when they walk out of my classroom.
Praise God for using me, despite me.

All in all, I realize how much God loves me and that His love is not shown in circumstances, in earthly treasures, in dreams fulfilled, because I feel like I have none of those. But I have Christ. My treasure. He shows His mercy new every morning. His promises fulfilled that He will never leave us or forsake us. His promise that He will give us a future and a hope....

and hope in Him does not disappoint...

and Jenni, the beautiful, is engaged.....

2008-12-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

and Jake rocks. I thank God for providing such a wonderful man for such an amazing person. I love you both.

and so the family grows. It is so fun.

All is Well

2008-12-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

The song I will sing this Sunday is called "All is Well." This song has ministered to me in so many ways throughout the years. It speaks of the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to earth. As I break into my holiday traditions this year I decided to focus and meditate on one specific name of God......EMMANUEL. God is with us. God came to us, He walked this earth, He died on the cross and forgave us. These are the lyrics:

All is well, all is well
Angels and men rejoice
for tonight, darkness fell
into the dawn of love's light
Sing Alleluia

All is well, all is well
let there be peace on earth
Christ is come, go and tell
that He is in a manger
Sing Alleluia

All is well, all is well
Lift up your voice and sing
Born is now Emmanuel
Born is our Lord and Savior
Sing Alleluia
Sing Alleluia

No matter how bad things can be, no matter how worried we get, how discouraged, how burdened, how afraid, how poor, how abused, how weary we become, how dark the future looks, how hard it is to continue......

Let us remember that PEACE has come.....

with tidings of great JOY....

FEAR not....

Rejoice! For the SUNRISE FROM ON HIGH has come to give light to those in darkness and in the shadow of death
and to guide our feet into the way of PEACE....

ALL IS WELL
Born is now EMMANUEL
BORN is our LORD and SAVIOR

Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world

All is well.

I got my sticker.... Did you?

2008-11-04T17:45:00.000-08:00

DON'T YOU JUDGE ME....

2008-10-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

I think that most quoted verse in our nation right now among the young people is "don't judge, lest you be judged." There is actually a shirt that a band put out that says in big white letters, "DON"T YOU JUDGE ME!" Along with being the most quoted, I think it might be one of the most misused.

Recently I was in a conversation in which the other person said, "I can't judge them, who am I to say what is right and wrong?" I suppose that person is right if we define it right. We do NOT decide what is right and wrong, that's true. God does. However, I think most people who say things like this mean that they have no right to tell people what is right and wrong because, according to them, that would be judging. I disagree. and I think I have cause for my complaint.

We are not the ones that can determine what is right and what is wrong, God does. BUT He wrote it down for us. In the Bible. Telling us how to live, where our morality should point, and how we should think. The Bible is clear about what is right and wrong. Guess what? We can read it. Actually, He commands us to know it, love it, and even TEACH it. What? You mean teach what is right and what is wrong???? No way, thats not my place, I can't judge, blah, blah, blah.......

Yes. Teaching the truth of God's Word is teaching what is right and what is wrong. If something or someone is rebelling against what it says, it is wrong. We should, as the scripture says, minister TRUTH in LOVE. Always loving, always remembering that we were great sinners, but we have a great Savior. and He has made our wrongs disappear by the power of His blood. The best thing we can do for someone is to point them to the Great Judge, who saw them in their wrong and sent a Son to erase their wrong.

I do believe there are some who judge wrongly and we should make sure we avoid that. However, so many trade the opportunity to share truth because they don't want to offend.

Offending is not judging.
Standing up for right and wrong is not judging.
Speaking truth is not judging.

We can know what is right and wrong and speak about it. We cannot judge. That's God's job. See the difference?

Oh Lord, if this were lost instead, and all I had was you, I would be rich, and have the greatest Good....

2008-10-17T17:45:00.001-07:00

I can't comment on this one. Just thinking, praying, praising.

Practicality from Proverbs....

2008-10-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

So I was reading in the Proverbs the other night, I actually read through the entire book. So interesting. The wisdom of the Word never ceases to amaze me and the message of the Proverbs speaks quite directly to our culture. Wisdom is the same today as it was back in the day. Just thought I would write a few down for you to read today…

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”

“Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise.”

“Where there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.”

“When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom.”

“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.” (good one!!!!)

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

“He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

“The backslider in heart will have his fill of his own ways, but a good man will be satisfied with his.”

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

“A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred blows into a fool.”

“A good name is to be more desired than great riches, favor is better than silver and gold.”

“Do not associate with a man given to anger, or go with a hot-tempered man.” (girls, seriously)

“It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

“A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a nagging woman are alike.”

“Like a madman who throws firebrands and death, so the is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I was just joking.”

Dream like New York....

2008-09-17T17:38:00.001-07:00

I want to move to New York city so badly that I can think of little else. ha ha ha. Is there anyone who knows anybody that might be able to help me. With jobs, with housing, etc. Just thought I would throw it out. Any advice?

Anticipating Autumn.....

2008-09-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

Anticipating Autumn now. I typically do since around the last Autumn. =) I just enjoy the cooler weather and a few other things...

sweaters
hats
scarf
leaves
pumpkin spice lattes
fireplaces
football games
marching bands
school starting
Deep colors
cuddling
apples
homecomings
Church choir Christmas music prep
Candles
Apple Cinnamon Scents
My Family, well, thats all year
Harvest

As sure as seasons are made for change............ so change already. =)

Our beautiful bridegroom...

2008-08-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

this past weekend I flew to Colorado Springs to be in one my best friend's weddings. Amy Bieker. All four of my best friends from college were there and I was more than excited to see them. We stayed in a hotel together. Me and the three pregnant girls, Renee, Marcella and Stephanie. Because of how much water I drink and my need to use the restroom every half hour, I fit right in. ha ha h ha hahahahahahah.
Anyway, we had the best time. It is so good to be with women that are like these women. They make me laugh, they listen to me, they love me through my imperfections and they laugh at me. It was so good to see these women. God has blessed me beyond measure with each of their friendship and I admire each of their commitment to their families, husbands, and most of all their Lord.

One particular thing that stood out to me this weekend was my friend Amy. She was radiant. She was calm, beautiful and in love with her now husband. I'll never forget the way Amy looked when she walked down the aisle, she had such a beautiful countenance. In all outward appearances she looked drop dead gorgeous, but what really stood out was her character and obvious anticipation as she was escorted down the aisle. She never took her eyes off Casey, her groom. It was like he was the only one in the room. It was a gentle reminder to me of my Savior, my bridegroom. I thought about what the relationship of marriage illustrates for us. Our Jesus is our bridegroom, and we are His bride. I hope I look upon Him with anticipation for our union, I hope I look upon Him with such a longing for His presence that it radiates off my countenance, I hope I look upon Him to love, serve and delight in. For He has pursued us, He has loved us with an everlasting love, He has seen our nakedness and ashes and He washed and adorned us. My Kinsmen Redeemer, my bridegroom, my love.

To Amy, for showing me who Christ is and loving me through these many years. I love you with all my heart and rejoice that you have been allowed a marriage relationship, use it to understand and love Jesus even more. Many blessings.

Forgiveness...

2008-08-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been reminded of what it means. I think to truly experience forgiveness we need to be broken over our wrongdoing, our sin. Understand that we are imperfect. Each on of us. We fail, we fall, we let people down, we get angry, we make ourselves the most important person in the universe, and we sin.

I just wanted to say that I'm thankful for it. God looked upon our sinful, filthy, detestable souls and demonstrated mercy. He punished Jesus for our sin. We do not have to be punished for it. Do we understand that?!!!!! He punished Jesus for it, not us, Jesus. To love us, for His glory. I am overwhelmed. Oh the deep deep love of Jesus. Oh the deep, deep love.

No guilt in life, no fear in death, this the power of Christ in me.

He is mighty to save.

We should be the same with one another. Love one another, serve one another, forgive one another.

Until there's no one left who has ever known us apart...

2008-08-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

There is an off broadway musical called "The Last Five Years." Here is my favorite song. Its called "the Next Ten Minutes." You don't have to read, if you're not a romantic. I am, so are my many friends=) So sappy, but so beautiful, the music is even better. =)

The Boy, Jamie, sings:

Will you share your life with me

For the next ten minutes?

For the next ten minutes

We can handle that

We could watch the waves

We could watch the sky

Or just sit and wait

As the time ticks by

And if we make it till then

Can I ask you again

For another ten?

And if you in turn agree

To the next ten minutes

And the next ten minutes

Till the morning comes

Then just holding you

Might compel me to

Ask you for more

There are so many lives I want to share with you

I will never be complete until I do

THE GIRL, CATHY, sings:

I'm not always on time

Please don't expect that from me

I will be late

But if you can just wait

I will make it eventually

Not like it's in my control

Not like I'm proud of the fact

But anything other than being exactly on time

I can do

I don't know why people run

I don't know why things fall through

I don't know how anybody survives in this life

Without someone like you

I could protect and preserve

I could say no and goodbye

But why, Jamie, why?

I want to be your wife

I want to bear your child

I want to die

Knowing I

Had a long, full life in your arms

That I can do

Forever, with you

JAMIE

Will you share your life with me

For the next ten lifetimes?

Forever

Till there's no one left

Who has ever known us apart

I got all my sistas and me

2008-08-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

Vanessa took these, she is so good. Boy, these bridesmaids were gorgeous. I had to deal with some serious self esteem issues, ha ha. Just kiddin. Pictures of the most gorgeous of all, the bride, will come later. Don't have any. But she chose some awesome colors.

Pigmented Villonodular Synovitis

2008-08-06T20:18:00.000-07:00

I went in for surgery today. The surgeon found out I had this disease in my knee. Apparently, there were a bunch of little benign tumors growing in my right knee and causing a lot of problems. I am here at my parents house recovering for the next couple days. Those of you who texted me, gave me little flower plants(Colleen), called me, and prayed for me. Thank you so much. My Dad and Mom are excellent caregivers.

I will be a Master

2008-07-24T14:20:00.001-07:00

Its official, I am getting my Master's in Education, secondary ed. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wilhite Wedding

2008-07-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

Allyson, my younger sister, is getting married in 9 days. I am so excited for her, she is a beautiful, talented, vibrant and committed woman. She will make a great wife to Shawn. He is very blessed to be her husband in a few days. Pray for them as they embark on this wonderful journey. Pray for us as a family, lots of people coming into town, lots to do, and a party to attend!!!! This picture is my favorite of them, because it shows who they are together. Fun.

Ukraine Review

2008-07-23T13:54:00.000-07:00

For those of you who want to know how my trip went. It was amazing. It was one of those trips that I will never forget. Despite many obstacles getting there: one being my knee injury two days before we left, I tore my medial and lateral meniscis (spelling?). I went to my surgeon's office and he injected me with cortizone and drained some bloody fluid off my knee and off I went, trippin. I love cortizone!!!! Thanks to those of you who prayed. I was somewhat handicap and couldn't participate in some games, but for the most part I did fine.

One of our first days there was touring the city of Chernigov. Olya, this amazing girl from the church, and her mom gave us a tour. It was there that I had a really cool experience. I was introducing myself to some of the girls there and one told me that she read my blog!!!!!! Her name was Mira, I love her so much now, not because she read my blog, but because she became my partner in crime for the rest of the trip. But the fact that she read my blog was so encouraging, she also told me that it encourages her. So therefore, I will keep blogging. People in Ukraine read!

I got to lead kids in music and teach an english class. I got to share the gospel freely and unashamedly. That was a really great feeling and people from our english club came to Christ. It made me want to take more opportunity at all times, here or there, to share our treasure, Jesus, with the world.
Also, I met the neatest family. I got to stay with Jake and Anya Knotts and their little girl Maia. I came to love and respect them and will remember them always. Anya was an amazing cook and Jake is the Pastor of the church we worked with in Chernigov. Their little girl is the cutest, I had so much fun with her.
Here are some pics. I didn't have my camera, so I stole these from Curtis. If I had a camera, I would have pictures of Mira, Jake and Anya, and Maia. My english class and my friend Sveta and Zhenya.

I am lame

Pray for us. Ukraine Team 08. We leave today!

2008-07-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

Pray to Him who is able to do more than we can ask or imagine.

Summer 08: Do Hard Things

2008-06-27T09:22:00.001-07:00

Well, I have been blessed this summer to meet with a group of six High School girls. Students of mine this last year. We were talking at one of the end of the year celebrations and we decided to do a discipleship group on Thursday nights. So far, I have been blessed. We decided to read a book entitled, Do Hard Things, by the Harris twins. A teenage REBELution against low expectations. Such a good book, such a good message. I actually have come to believe that this message is for the many twenty-somethings that I run with as well. Do hard things, do things out of your comfort zone, do things that require some hard self-initiation, do things that counter the cultural norm, do things that no one will notice but God. Do hard things.
I have been so impressed with the message presented in this book and I recommend it to all youth leaders, high school teachers, and the like. One of the chapters in the book is called the Myth of Adolescence. A myth? hmmmmm. The word "teen" was not used until the year 1941. The typical rebellious youth years did not actually exist until after the first world war. Interesting. The general point of this book is that society has placed low expectations upon the teens and nobody rises to the occasion when they are not expected to. So it is a REBELution against low expectations. Heroes of our faith and heroes of the secular world started when they were teens. Charles Spurgeon was preaching to thousands by the time he was 17. When Jonathan Edwards was a teen, he wrote some of the deepest and most challenging resolutions for the rest of his life. The book names some of the greats who did great things as teenagers. George Washington and Clara Barton.
As I look back on my teen years I see a lot of waste. Thank God that I didn't wast all of those years, but I could have done so much more. Also, I have been thinking about my twenties as well. Did I do hard things? Did I jump out of my comfort zone? In some ways yes, and others, not at all.
The Bible is constantly telling us to live a PASSIONate life dedicated to knowing Christ and making Him known. Do we pour out our lives for the sake of others? Do we cling to the eternal hope of glory instead of to the things of this world? Do we see Christ, our savior, our sacrifice and leave all else behind? Do we commit our lives to the church, His body, to minister to our fellow brothers and sisters?

What hard things will I do this summer?

Well, the ones I can share on the internet=)
1. Juice vegetables for two meals a day. ahhhhhhhhhhh!
2. Get knee surgery. I'm scared.
3. Purpose to rejoice in the midst of disappointment.
4. Teach english to Ukrainians for a week.
5. Get a bike and ride it to work in the fall.
6. Memorize loads of scripture.
7. Get a hold of my budget and stick to it.
8. Never gossip.
9. Be able to run 3 miles by Thanksgiving. After my knee surgery. yikes. and dare I say, be able to run a 5k in the spring. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
10. Start my Master's degree. Lord, I need money.

You may be thinking that those are not very hard. Well, get your own list. This is mine. Well, the "surface-y" one. The deeper ones are none of your business. So what hard things will you do? I challenge my friends Renee, Stephanie and Rachel to make a list and post it on their blogs. ha ha. You don't have to, but it would be fun to see what you say. Rach, have a second child. That should be number one, you amaze me every time I read your blog. What a great mother Georgia and Henry have!!!! Thanks for showing me how to do hard things and you didn't even know it.

Did I mention I was in a musical this spring?

2008-05-24T09:53:00.001-07:00

I was cast as the Sour Kangaroo in Seussical the Musical. Here are the leads in our dressing room one night. More pictures to come. So fun. If you are familiar with the musical, I know you are laughing that I was the Sour Kangaroo. Humpf!

Mayzie, Gertrude, Sour Kanga, Cat in the Hat, Mrs. Mayor, Horton.

FITP Team Ukraine. Pray for us. July 3-13.

2008-05-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

Here we are.

Like the Spring rain watering the earth...

2008-05-24T09:15:00.001-07:00

Well, Southern California is typically the place where the weather is predictable, especially from May to September. Sunny. Warm. Dry. I love living here. This week it started out in the low 100s. It was stinkin hot. I was driving home on Thursday after work and it started hailing and about 20 miles away a tornado touched down. Talk about freaky and unpredictable. I felt like I had been transported to the midwest for a few days. Even today, Saturday, I have jeans, long sleeves and a winter vest on. I am sitting drinking coffee this early morning and I'm cold. Here is a photo about 20 minutes after it started falling on Thursday afternoon.

Can I just say that I thought this was such a lovely gift from God. The summer will be long, hot, and dry. I felt like God was giving us a refreshment before the heat begins. It reminded me of one of my favorite passages in the Bible. Hosea 6:3 "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord, His going forth is as certain as the dawn, and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth."

Let's be reminded of God's mercy in this weather. In our desert and dry times of life, press on to know Him. His presence, though it feels faint sometimes, is as certain as the dawn. Do we doubt the sun coming up? Never. Our father has promised that His presence will prove as certain as the dawn. Which makes sense, cuz He created it. =) The scripture is full of commands about pressing on, waiting. "Those who wait on the Lord, will renew their strength, and mount up with wings like eagles." "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." So let us press on.

My dear friends, Sandy and Andy Gaither, sang this song on Sunday. As I sat their I couldn't control the tears falling down my face. Read these words and press on:

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
when you don't understand
when you can't see His plan
when you can't trace His hand
Trust His Heart.

What is Beauty?

2008-04-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

So my sister Hannah is amazing. She wrote this poem for me on my birthday and I thought I would share it with you all.

BEAUTY by Hannah Price

Beauty is within the purity of your heart
It is within the wisdom of your mind
Beauty is within the willingness of your spirit
It is within the gentleness of your actions.

Beauty is not relative to the culture.
It is not to be compared with others.
Beauty is not within external features.
It is not polished or contrived.

Beauty is seen in the glory radiating on Your face.
It is shown through your skillful singing.
Beauty is exemplified in your character.
It is your well-lived life in His grace.

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Hannah, thanks for your heartfelt words. They speak to all of the world. You are an inspiration to me always. I love you.

27 Birthdays

2008-04-12T21:23:00.000-07:00

I have the greatest job in the entire world. and this year God has blessed me with a very special class. I get to teach one class of Freshman Bible. On my birthday I arrived at school and this class had secretly made shirts with my picture on them, planned a surprise party, gave me presents, and made me a beautiful cake. This class is so special to me, we laugh and pray and learn together and I adore every single one of them. Thank you Bible class for being the most wonderful class a teacher could ever ask for. I pray that God will build a passion in your heart for loving others as you have so faithfully loved me. Here are some photos of the day.

Charlie bit my finger - again !

2008-01-27T21:33:00.001-08:00

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. and cute too!

God gives. God takes. Blessed be His Name!

2008-01-09T18:22:00.001-08:00

This really ministered to me today. Grab some kleenex and go to this site. www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons

Roommates Extraordinaire!

2008-01-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

So I have been meaning to blog about these two amazing girls that God has sent me. They are so fun and in a time where I felt like a lot of my friends were not there anymore, God brought them into my life. So Colleen and Sarah, thank you for loving me through my flaws, making me laugh and helping me feel like I have a home with you every night. I love you both.

Also, I got a new computer and we were messing around with imovie the other night. We thought we would demonstrate 3 different emotions and then we decided to put funny music and sound effects to it. This is why we have so much fun!!!!!!! Yes, we know, total cheese, but amazing fun.

Feast Eternal

2007-12-31T10:30:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve morning, my family and I drove up to our best friend's house in Cherry Valley. We were going to have a brunch. Conor and Koren were home from Ukraine, Curtis and Kathy, Kylie and Trent were there. The kids were going to put on a show for us. It was going to be fun. Well, Allyson had spent Thanksgiving in Ukraine with Koren and sent a video home with her. We started to watch it and then she walked out! She surprised us for Christmas. We were all speechless. Especially my father, he had tears in his eyes. I looked over at him when she walked in and it was almost like he breathed a sigh of relief. They're all here.

That next day on Christmas morning, my Dad said something that really stood out to me. He said: "You know this morning I was thinking about the Marriage supper of the Lamb" and we all listened. He said, "I wonder if the Lord will look out at His children and say: finally, you are all here. Welcome home."

Wow. What a day that will be, when the chosen children of God surround Him at the marriage supper. We will feast eternal together.

You are all here, welcome home.

My name is (insert name her), and I'm an anonymous commenter...

2007-11-30T16:22:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the Anonymous Comment Recovery Center. Here at A.C.R.C. we would like to take this opportunity to say: we can help. This habitual problem of commenting anonymously can be annoying, abusing, and cowardly. We would like to introduce you to our 3 step recovery plan. This program is free and contributing to the success of bloggers everywhere!
Step 1: Look at yourself in the mirror and picture William Wallace. FREEDOM!!!!!!
Step 2: Man up.
Step 3: Leave your name on your comments.

This easy three step program will bring you the health of bloggers everywhere. Your opinion is wanted! You can do it, you can become free!

If you need to talk to one of our 24hour counseling representatives or speak with one of our graduated nameless bloggers: Call toll free at 1-800-i-have-a-name or email us for testimonials at www.ihaveanameandimnotafraidtouseit.com

This program have been brought to you by Merea Price. Though her opinions and blog posts are simple, boring and not many read, she has been confronted with this dangerous disease on multiple occasions. Through her courageous and philanthropic journey, she has come up with this life-changing program that reaches out to the blog world in innovative ways.

NOTE: please do not think you are funny and post an anonymous comment on this post. I called it, you are not original, think of something more witty. And don't forget, LEAVE YOUR NAME.

Basics

2007-11-08T16:47:00.001-08:00

I have been so convicted to get back to the basics.

Live simply
Read the Bible
Pray
Tithe and give away
Love others

I overcomplicate so many things. Wanna join me?

8 times a bridesmaid, never a bride?

2007-10-29T17:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I hate that old saying: 3 times a bridesmaid, never a bride. Its like saying, you are a good friend to people and you have good friends, so you are cursed. ha ha ha. Just kidding. But honestly. and for that matter, I caught two bouquets so far and thus began NOT believing in stupid superstitions from then on.

Anyways, just 2 weeks ago, one of my best friends in the entire world got married to a wonderful man. I had that honor of standing up for her in her wedding. This is now the 8th time I have been a bridesmaid. I love it!!!!! I am so blessed with so many dear friends. I suppose if I ever get married one day, my husband better have a lot of friends, because my side will ber overflowing with attendents. I do not say this to boast about anything, but to boast in the blessings of God. I was sitting in my dress at a time in the reception when the Groom and Bride dance thinking that God has been so good to me. I wouldn't have made it through college if it weren't for my girl Kim. Same goes for all the other weddings I have had the pleasure of being in. I love being there on their special day, I rejoice with them, cry and prepare with them. It is such a blast. Seeing God's provision in providing each one a man that really fits them. God is so omniscient. Just wanted to say so. He knows all to well what we need. Can't wait to see who will be next. I say, a billion times a bridemaid, the better bride you'll be.

"This is our God, we have waited for Him,
and together we will grow, in joy and strength and hope,
and together we will show what He's bestowed
so I will stand beside you
as we walk now, hand in hand
watching as His beauty shines through, living out His masterplan,
This is our God."

-part of the song I wrote for James and Kim's special union. I love you guys. I am so blessed.

In His Hands...

2007-08-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Good song on the Brooklyn Tabernacle CD, Be Glad.

You don't have to worry
and don't you be afraid
joy comes in the morning
troubles they don't last always
remember there's a friend named Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
and if your heart is broken
just lift your hands and say:

I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
no matter what comes my way
my life is in Your hands
with Jesus I can take it
with Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in His hands

When your tests and trials
they seem to get you down
and all your friends and loved ones
are nowhere to be found
remember there's a friend named Jesus
who will wipe your tears away
and if your heart is broken
just lift your hands and say:

I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
no matter what may come my way
my life is in Your hands
with Jesus I can take it
with Him I know I can stand
no matter what may come my way
MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS

Is God Enough?

2007-08-09T23:40:00.001-07:00

Think over Psalm 73 with me.

Have you ever had someone come up to you and say: "Oh my goodness, I'm engaged! Look at my ring, look at my HUGE ring! Oh my goodness, my fiance is amazing, he is everything to me. I am SO in love! Did you happen to see my ring?!"

and you though to yourself: "Her. Why her Lord? Lord, seriously I have tried to do everything you have told me. I have been faithful to honor You in my relationships. Stayed pure, and it hasn't paid off. Why God? Why haven't You given me what I seem to deserve? I have tried so hard! and now I am so disappointed."

I was listening to a sermon online by Joshua Harris the other day. These are the thoughts from that sermon.

The writer of the Psalm begins writing about all the things that others have, he begins by being envious of the world. He is focussing on all the "wonderful" things that people are getting. They are rich, they have no worry, they are fat(in a good way), and they mock people for following God. They seem to have everything that I don't. What is up with that?

Have you ever felt that way?

Then the Psalmist realizes his place before the Almighty God. He begins to switch his focus to the sanctuary of God, and cries out. "My strength and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." "The nearness of God is my good, I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Thy works."

I realized that I thought I deserved something from God, when I really didn't. He has given me Himself and that is enough for me. and it is not enough in a sense of 'just to get by.' But EVERYTHING I need.

Are we living like God is enough for us? or are we envious of the wicked? Do we realize that He is our portion? Or do we think we deserve more from this world?

"All of You, is more than enough for all of me, for every thirst and every need, You satisfy me, with Your love, and all I have in You, is more than enough."-chris tomlin

I can only think of the words to the old hymn:

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus. How I've proved Him o'er and o'er. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus. Oh for Grace, to trust Him more!

God's provision

2007-07-31T18:52:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful friend. We met in Istanbul, Turkey and then later ended up living in the same apartment complex in Riverside, CA. We became friends and we travelled to New York City during Christmas time and took a road trip up the California coast. We had so much fun together. It was a blessing to have her in my life in the time that she was in CA. God had provided a wonderful single friend.
This past weekend I met her fiance! and once again I was reminded of God's provision. He was perfect for her. It is so incredible that Nicole waited and trusted in God and in His perfect timing, He brought her the best mate. Nicole is thirty years old and has led an amazing life. She committed to live overseas for 3 years, got her Master's degree, lived in California on faith, and moved back to Texas trusting God. That is where she met Jason. Read their story: noticenicole.blogspot.com
I think that Nicole's story is somewhat of a hopeful message for all of us out there. Not that a perfect man will come for all of us, that is not what I mean. I mean that God has everything under control. He has not forgotten us. He sees us, hears us, knows us, loves us and sancitfies us. He knows the best thing for us and His timing is perfect. Wait on Him. Do not settle for anything less. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Pastor Dad

2007-07-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

Dads are special. They love us, and care for us. Even when we are 26. My Dad has become my friend, my confidant, and my counselor. You know it is different when you are living completely on your own, how your relationship with your parents change. Slowly but surely you recognize their impact on your life, and that they are pretty cool people.

My Dad happens to be my Pastor as well. You know it is funny when he is at the pulpit, I see him as my pastor. I hear his words like everybody else and grow under his teaching. When he leaves town, I miss hearing his sermons. Besides, I think he is one of the greatest Bible teachers in the world, and I am not exaggerating. God has given him a gift of grace. The ability to communicate the deep truths of the Word to every type of person.

One thing I really like about my pastor is the privelage I have to speak with him almost whenever I want. I know that my Dad instructs his secretary that calls from his children can come through at all times and we can visit him whenever we need. He listens, loves, rebukes, counsels, intructs. I am so blessed. He gives me the truth of the Word and helps me figure out issues in my life. I value him as one of my best friends. A privelage that not many have with their pastor.

Dad, thanks for being a great dad and pastor to me.

More importantly I need to remember that I have access to the throne of God's grace. At any moment. At any location. He commands us to pray without ceasing. He promises that we can draw near with confidence to His throne and find grace to help in time of need. He loves us and promises to make us into the image of His Son. His Son, who is seated at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us! It is pretty stinkin awesome that we don't have to make an appointment to the creator of the universe. He sees His Son on us and says, come in! Sit on my lap, enjoy me while I love you. Wow. Thanks Dad, for showing me a little bit about the wonderful Heavenly Father we have. I love you.

Read my Dad's blog: waprice.blogspot.com

John Piper on the prosperity gospel

2007-07-12T22:58:00.001-07:00

Finally I figured it out

What the world needs now... comments on the video above

2007-07-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

This is a video that I have had on my myspace page for a while now. It is very true and hit me pretty hard. My good friend Colleen and I were talking about the importance of fighting against the health and prosperity gospel. Sometimes I find myself thinking that Christians will be given safety and comfort. Not true, we are given God's presence to endure through whatever life situations we go through. He is our treasure, He is enough. Man....I wish I could say that and truly mean it.

Summer lovin...

2007-07-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

I teach high school history, and as many of you know, teachers get the summers off. The last two summers I worked full time as a youth intern and didn't take a vacation. This summer I am off, no job. Which sounded wonderful at first, but I realized that I am a person who likes to be doing something. I like to be occupied. So I have invited friends over for breakfasts, started excercising again, invest in the church a lot more and scheduled many wonderful lunch dates.

Today, at one of those lunch dates, I was sitting outside with a dear friend. Her and I were discussing the importance of theology. The question came up: "Is it okay for us girls to be so interested in theology?" I remember when I was in college I heard a boy say: "I don't want to date Merea, she knows too much about the Bible." I am not going to lie, I wanted to punch him in the face.=) Of course, I smiled and continued on with my day, but that always stayed in my mind. I was really discouraged. and just last week, another good friend and I were headed somewhere and we started talking theology. Of course, my big mouth and I were so excited to be discussing this topic and I was just carrying on back and forth. Bringing up things I have thought about and asking questions. A couple days later that same friend told me that I was a 'smart cookie,' and never really completely agreed with what they said, always challenged them. That person was not saying I was argumentative and I think they meant it in a good way. I was trying to take it as a compliment, but it hit me pretty hard. Remembering back to that comment from college, I started thinking about it again.

I read in Proverbs 31, which seems to be a good description of a Godly woman. Verse 26: "she opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Verse 30: "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Girls, I have come to a conclusion. First of all that wisdom comes from God, and we can know God through His Word. So study it, discuss it, pray over it, and live it. I think men and women alike are to be theology students. The word theology just means, the study of God. I think we should pursue theology, or God rather. He is everything, His nearness is our good. And to know that we must study doctrine, we must like theology. So get down with the truth girls and be smart. Get down girls, go 'head, get down.

In response to many requests....

2007-06-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

I have had next to no time to write on my internet diary here, and to my surprise many people have mentioned to me that they want me to write another. Well, I had no idea my blog was even read by others out there in the internet world. Thanks for reading, you should comment more. =)

My favorite scene...

2007-05-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I was just enlightened a couple of weeks ago. My students have told me about a new group of people. See there are Emo kids, Bros, Hardcore kids, and then there are scene kids. No one can really explain what a scene kid is specifically, but it seems to be a poser, someone who thinks they are a part of the "music scene" but really isn't. Yes, I know, weird.

Why do we do that? Why do we label people? Is it to make us feel better about ourselves, because we are feeling insecure inside? I think perhaps the people who label people and say they hate the other groups are the ones that need a little security themselves. Every one of us has something great to offer. God has gifted each of us with unique beauty, abilities, quirks, and feelings. How about we start a movement at ACA and try to appreciate something about everyone? Each of us is like a thread and we can weave together and become a beautiful tapestry.
For example, my sixth period class. There are so many versions of sophomores in that class and yet, we all seem to get along for the hour and 15 minutes that we are together. We can laugh about our different styles and respect the thoughts of each one. From the back packs and boy corner on the right, to the very stylish and beautiful girly girls in the middle, the lone ranger in the front, and the entire side of sophomore girl athletes on the left. So much variety and so much elegance. How can we think one is better than the other?

I am glad that labels like that are somewhat over for me. But this blog is dedicated to my not so scene student Matt Westerfield. Be who you are Matt, keep on with the unique, and here you go, a spot on my blog. You are great. (even if you are scene, because I don't even know what it is)
To Matt.

All you need is love....

2007-05-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

You know not many people have been blessed as much as I have with the relationships they have with their family. My family has become my favorite friends. I love hanging out with them. If I won a trip anywhere, I would probably take my sisters. My brother is not so bad himself.=)
I have also been blessed with amazing friendships. I would like to give a shout out to those who have proven to be tried and true.

Marcella Bumpus- I love you girl and do not know what I would do without your friendship. You have blessed me so much even in just the last few months. I appreciate your support and I loved that you were there before my appointment yesterday and gave me a pep talk. Thanks.

Stephanie Rogers- No matter where life takes us, I hope you know that you will always be a kindred spirit. You are a beautiful mother and I loved watching you with Hope. Don't know what I would do without our "Target phone conversations." I love you so much!

Dan and Carrie Mahaffie- who knew that I would come to love you two so much. Your faithfulness to Christ and passion for His Word have shown me so much about life. It has been a joy learning with you for the past year in our small group. You mean the world to me. May God bless you as parents to Taylor, my favorite baby in the entire world. hee hee.

Rachel Marshman- Thanks for being the most "real" follower of Christ. I love talking about our lives and I love that you can tell me the truth. Not many people do that with me and I value you for it. You have shown me so much about pursuing Godliness in everything, motherhood, being a wife and worship leader. I hate that you are in Kentucky, but I love that you enjoy it. Don't know if you knew I appreciated you this much!

Tyler Watts: Although we are so far apart, I cherish you as one of my best. I miss you and can't wait until you are coming to visit. I miss our long talks outside at night and I keep this note you wrote me in Zanzibar in my Bible. It brings be great encouragment at very hard times. Thanks for being a great guy friend who is willing to open up.

There are so many more, but I am grateful for these today. I encourage you to thank the people you love.

What are we here for anyway?

2007-04-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

My wonderful home fellowship group, as our church likes to call them, is studying Ephesians. Every week someone leads and we discuss a chapter. We just finished 1 and 2. I was struck by some verses in chapter one that had never hit so hard.
"Making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth." Ephesians 1:9-10

He has made known to us what is the purpose of life! So many of us(humanity) sit and wonder what this life is all about and God has chosen us and told us the mystery. His plan is to unite all things in Him, the plan that He set forth in Christ. I just think that is awesome. Our lives are not meaningless, we don't bring meaning to our lives as some existentialists would say. God chose us to lavish His grace on, to give us wisdom and insight to the mysteries of the world! What an awesome God we serve, for He is great and worthy to be praised. I don't know if this made any sense to anybody else, but it is exciting. We know that in the end God will come through. That the temptations, sins, hurts, and sorrows of this world will end and we will be united in Him.
Sometimes when I read books, hee hee, I look on the last few pages to see if it ends the way I want it to. Like if the girl gets the guy, or the other way around, whatever. If it doesn't end the way I want then I am not interested in reading it. I know, very lame, but I do. In a mystery most of the time I wait, but sometimes I peak. I cheat. Its just my personality, I like to know if it will be worth reading. So it is kind of cool to me to be able to know what is the purpose of all this and that it will end the way that it should. Yeah I know, I am a weird woman. =)

Another year has gone by...

2007-03-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

I am a year older today. It's exciting and I am inching my way toward another decade, but still a few years away. One student approached me today and said, "Don't worry Miss Price, you are only as old as you feel!" I laughed a little. I wanted to say: "I AM YOUNG, not just feel young!"

There are so many things to look forward to these days. As I reflect upon the last 2o and a few=) years, I realize that I have changed as a person in so many ways. I remember this one moment in my sophomore year of high school, a good ten years ago, when I was sitting in Mr. Perry's english class, his door was open, it was a beautiful day, sunny, soft breeze. I remember exactly what I was thinking. "I wonder where I will be in 5 years, in 10 years." If someone would have been able to look into the future and told me where I would be, I wouldn't have believed it. I have had to opportunity to travel 4 of the 7 continents, get my Bachelor's degree, become a dental assistant, and a high school history teacher. Sometimes I get into a rut and begin to think I am leading a pretty boring life, and then I actually look at my life and realize I am just being ignorant. I praise the Lord for the things I have gotten to do and people I have gotten to know. Its a wonderful life. Its a Happy Birthday indeed.

Match.com

2007-03-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

So. Another thing, since people only seem to read and comment the blogs I write about singleness, I thought I would write another one.

I can't tell you how many people have told me to go online. "Oh try Match.com, and EHarmony is a christian one." it is the only way to find someone these days."

I know plenty of great, Godly people who have tried those type of things. I just cannot see myself doing that. Whatever happened to single guys asking single girls to go out and have coffee or something. So many people in the Christian community are against dating. I think maybe us girls expect too much, and the guys are intimidated by that. Or do guys expect too much and girls are intimidated by that? Anyway, people say that online dating is a safe way of getting to know someone. How the heck is the internet safe?

Just wondering what everyone else thought. It seems dangerous, it seems desperate, meanwhile, I am working on the whole contentment thing. It doesn't seem like something content people do. I have pretty much decided on not doing online dating, but what do you think?

Another day in the life of high school education...

2007-02-27T22:00:00.000-08:00

I am a teacher. Everyday I love my job and everyday I hate my job. I suppose every job is like that. I have come to the conclusion that if the love moments outweigh the hate moments then I should say at all times, "I love my job." Everyday I come in and see 125 sophomores staring up at me ready to hear what I have to say. . .
Sometimes I get to be funny and I love when they laugh, shake their heads, roll their eyes at my dorkiness, and exclaim "I love this class!"

Sometimes I get to be firm, showing them when they are out of line, punishing them for doing something they shouldn't have, helping them learn how to respect.

Sometimes I get to be sad, like when I tell the story of the Atlantic Slave Trade or the millions of jews that were murdered. They sit in silence, listening, imagining, thinking.

Sometimes I get to be serious, discuss what is important in making a political decision, hearing them say what they think, challenging them to think deeper. Asking them what is really important in life, to different people, to God?

Sometimes I get to be real and tell them that my friend has died, I loved him, I cry and they encourage me.

Maybe it is them I love. Because they are there everyday smiling at me, saying hello, asking me for advice, laughing with me, learning with me and just being them.

Yes, yes I love my job. Because of them.

"So, are you dating anyone?" No "Oh, well thats okay" Yes, yes I know.

2007-02-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

So, for the 147 billionth time today, Valentine's Day, I had someone tell me: "You know that when I finally realized that I was content being single, God gave me my husband/wife. All you have to do is tell God, 'I am content being single' and you will really see him work in your life."

Hold up, wait a minute. WHATEVER. Just because people are single does not mean that we have not achieved some supernatural, super christian state where we can now recieve what God has been trying to give us, BUT, we just weren't content. I love(sarcastic) how people think that they earned or deserved the gift of marriage. Well, what about the GIFT of singleness? and I am so sure that peole who get married right out of college experienced true contentment with their singleness. Oh really? During college, surounded by all your closest friends, a few hundred peers, learning, and having the time of your life you experienced what REAL singleness is. It must have been so hard to come to grips with living single for the rest of your life. So in that moment of contentment you thought you achieved this forever state of "no matter what comes my way, I am content with singleness." Try being out of college for a few years, heck, living in your thirties, and handling most issues on your own.

ANYWAY, my whole point is... I hope that we singles realize that it is a gift for the time being. Amy Carmicheal, the Apostle Paul and many others who remained single their entire lives were so much more effective in the kingdom than many married people have been. Not that it is a comparison. One of my deepest longings is to be married. I really want to. Marriage is a good thing, and I can't wait, if God so chooses. And I have many respectable married friends and I am more than happy for them. I just want people to realize that single does not equal discontentment. Yes, I have times of discontentment, just like married girls, and I have times where I accept my position and submit my will to God. Lets encourage singles instead of feel sorry for them, lets learn from singles instead of think they have nothing to say, lets all appreciate God's choice for our lives and Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Connected Soles

2007-01-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

My friend Tyler and met for breakfast the day he left for Vietnam 2 years ago. We were talking about the sacrifice of leaving home, for the advancment of the Kingdom and decided that we would trade flip flops. We traded and vowed that everytime we wear each pair of shoes we would pray for one another. And since in Southern Cal you wear flip flops almost everyday, even on dressy occasions, it worked. I am reminded of Tyler often when I look at my feet. It reminds me of the verse in scripture that says, "how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." Here in Socal and Vietnam.
BUT, something terrible happened to the pair of sandals that I had given Tyler. Yesterday I opened my email and read a title of an email from Ty. It read: "Our friendship is in peril!" I thought, OH NO! I opened the email and to my surprise Tyler had sent a picture of the broken shoe and a message. I was saddened. Our footwear friendship, our slipper solidarity, our sandal sentiment (Tyler's description) had come to an end.
Even though our our slipper solidarity has ended, Tyler and I will remain friends and make an effort to pray without the shoes. I miss my friend, and thank God that friendship has been given to us, friendship that goes beyond the durability of flip flop sandals.

Things I love, in no particular order.

2007-01-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

I love...
God and His Word
My immediate family
a good movie
a good book
laughter
tears
feelings
singing
Mimi's Cafe
black humor
Starbucks coffee
decorating
Christmas time
Choral music
New York City
different languages
little kids
French Toast with syrup
Pizza and Rootbeer
Family time
Hangin with my parents
My Dad's sermon
My mom's laugh and her cheerfulness
Church, Sundays
my church body
playing the guitar
walks
swimming
sitting in the Cloud's spa at night when it is cold in Beaumont
The ocean
The mountains
snow
skiing
waverunners
sailing
Mel and Dorothy's and bbq
Salad and Breadsticks from the Olive Garden
Memories
Driving in my Jeep Liberty
Talking with Jenni, Art and Han
laughing at Madea with Ally
My boys Rico and Big Game James
Rachel Marshman
and singing with Rachel Marshman
Yada Yada(its are band name, lol)
Sleep
My students
Especially the 4 muskateers, DB, T Nibbly, Curtis, and Drew
Talking about God with my students
especially Kristin
There are so many things in life to love. I am very blessed. This list could go on for 1,000 pages.

1,470 Years ago...

2007-01-05T13:54:00.001-08:00

1,470 years ago a church was built in the east. I just visited that church. It is very rare to look at something that old, let alone behold a building that old.
Yes, the Hagia Sophia. Amazing. I am in Istanbul, Turkey which used to be Constantinople. It is hard to believe that I looked at a building that was finished in the year 537 AD.
So, anyway, I had a great New Years, visiting my sister who lives here in Istanbul. How did you spend your New Year?

God is odd

2006-12-24T14:02:00.000-08:00

Being humble is exalted.

Bathing in His blood is good.

He is just, but saved us.

He is God, and became a man.

The King of Kings, but born in a stable.

Owner of everything, but nowhere to lay His head.

Trillions of sins, one act of obedience.

Hater of sins, lover of sinners.

We must die to live forever.

Eternal life, Righteousness, Victory. All things He imputed to us.

Praise God His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts!

Merry Christmas. May you humble yourself, bathe in blood and die.

The coolness of my friend, Lindsay Cooper...

2006-12-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

I have a friend. Her name is Coop. We never see each other, but will remain close forever. She challenges me, I miss her.
I wonder if Coop has ever thought about this before...

Upon Christmas season coming and arriving, I have begun my annual Christmas music listening ritual. This year is a bit different, and I have decided to think about the words of Christmas Carols. They are rich with meaning. I have know these things my whole life and sometimes missed it...
God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay, remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day, to save us all from Satan's power, when we were gone astray.
O TIDINGS OF COMFORT and JOY!
I like most of us during the holiday season begin to focus on what is joyful and comfortable. Being with family and friends, sitting by the fire, watching the opening of presents, the decorations all over the streets and homes, joyful, comfortable.
Do we remember that Christ our Savior came and saved us "far as the curse is found(last verse of Joy to the World)." We are cursed with sin and death, headed to eternal separation from Him, and He saved us and those "far as the curse is found." He saved me, loved me, and made me righteous. Oh the depths of the riches of Christ! What message brings more comfort and joy?
Merry Christmas Linds. Lets do coffee.
Merea

I love Jeff and Rachel Marshman

2006-10-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share with the blog world that I love Jeff and Rachel Marshman. Rachel has been an amazing friend to me in the last year. Jeff, Rachel and I have played music together, led worship places together, ate dinner on Thursday nights together, started a small group at our church, and really had fun. Don't know what I'd do without them.
It is awesome how God provides you with the people you need in your life to encourage you and just talk about the faithfulness of God. I appreciate them for listening when I had to share some life frustrations and I appreciate them for rejoicing with me.
Their 1 year old daughter Georgia is the greatest kid in the world. Maybe I could be an adopted aunt or something.

How to save a life

2006-10-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

I love that song by the Fray. Just saying so.

A chance to forgive! Why didn't I think of that?

2006-10-25T13:14:00.001-07:00

I read an article today about heartache and how some people say things that hurt us. These things that are said are not meant to hurt, but for some reason they linger around and pierce our feelings. We become discouraged or even angry. The article was saying that we should see these things as opportunities to forgive people. WOW. Why didn't I think of that? Sometimes I wonder at the negativity in my heart and surprise myself with how bitter I can become in a short second. I am not a bitter person, really. I am happy and people would describe me that way, why didn't I think of that?

Normal: You and I

2006-10-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

I can't wait until its normal.
You and I together.
Till I can't sleep when you're away.
When I know what you will say.
I can't wait until its normal
To kiss you goodnight, good morning and goodbye
and you holding my hand when I cry.
I can't wait until its normal
Each holiday we spend together
Through all the changes in the weather
I can't wait until its normal
when we forget what its like to be apart
and we knew it from the very start.
I can't wait until its normal
you and I together.

Disapointment

2006-10-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

Does anyone ever write about disapointment? I feel like blogs and myspace are all efforts to show everybody how amazingly creative you are and how eloquent you can be with your description.
Well.... right now in my life I am disapointed. Probably ultimately with God. I will just get right to the point, don't blame anything else to make myself feel more spiritual, but realize that it is Him I am disapointed with. Not because He has done anything that I should be disapointed with, for He is ever faithful. i guess what I am trying to say is that in my own self centered way of thinking, I am disapointed. Why has He not allowed certain things to happen to me? Why did He allow me to struggle with my health? Why do I feel like the only one who struggles with this? Why do I feel lonely? Why are all my friends married and having babies, while I continue down the path of single and professional? not that I am ready for that change in my life, but still. I feel different.

Why can't I snap out of it? Why can't I realize that He knows the path of life and in His presence there are treasures forever? Why can't I commit myself to His perfect purpose and be completely okay with it? and as you are reading, don't act like you have never asked these questions. Don't act like you do not struggle with this as well. I think we all struggle with God over our own desires sometimes. It is definately not excused, it is sin.

I am sinful. He is wonderful. I fall short. He surpasses comprehension. I am self-consumed. He sent His Son. I am struggling to make it. He is conforming me to Himself. Thank you Lord for promising to finish the work You started in us. Thank you Lord for Your mercies that are new every morning. Thank You for Your Word that is alive and pierces to the heart of me. Thank you for caring so much that You discipline. Thank You for being silent, so I understand Your presence even more. Thank You for loving Son, who died for me.

new york state of mind

2006-10-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

I went to New York City for the first time last December. It had been my dream for a long time to visit the city, and yes, it surpassed all my expectations. I want to live there for awhile, attend the Brooklyn Tabernacle Church, and teach english to people who don't know it.

The city is the best and even better at Christmas time. My three friends and I decided to go and my father has a friend who works at a small theatre off Times Square. He let us stay there for an unreal price. Thanks to my dad's connection.

I don't know what was my favorite, seeing Central Park, ice skating in Bryant park while looking right up at the Empire State building, seeing 3 Broadway shows, the Brooklyn Tab Choir, the subway entertainment, or simply just being in the city.

Yes, I can truly say....I love New York.

Oh to have seasons...

2006-09-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

So I live in Southern California, land of sunshine and summertime all year 'round. I wonder what it would be like to live in a place that changes with the seasons. The cool, crisp autumn air. Watching the leaves change and fall to the ground. Sweaters, scarfs, and jeans. The smoke of fireplaces and Pumpkin Spices. Football weather, college sweatshirts. Backyard football games (without sweating profusely), diving into a raked up pile of leaves. Harvest festivals, hayrides, pumpkin carving. Hot chocolate at a Friday night football game. Light jacket requirement.

No....I go back to the tank top wearing, sunglass wearing, hot and sunny, southern California autumn. Where I walk outside after a long air conditioned day and gasp at the warmth I feel in the middle of October. So I turn the AC on, get under a blanket, make some spiced tea and dream of seasons to come.

2006-09-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

Well......I have a blogspot now. I was tired of looking at all my friends and not have one myself. Besides, there is somthing about being able to write your thoughts out and send them to the internet. It seems somewhat freeing. Be my blog friend.