Another day in the life of high school education...

I am a teacher. Everyday I love my job and everyday I hate my job. I suppose every job is like that. I have come to the conclusion that if the love moments outweigh the hate moments then I should say at all times, "I love my job." Everyday I come in and see 125 sophomores staring up at me ready to hear what I have to say. . .
Sometimes I get to be funny and I love when they laugh, shake their heads, roll their eyes at my dorkiness, and exclaim "I love this class!"

Sometimes I get to be firm, showing them when they are out of line, punishing them for doing something they shouldn't have, helping them learn how to respect.

Sometimes I get to be sad, like when I tell the story of the Atlantic Slave Trade or the millions of jews that were murdered. They sit in silence, listening, imagining, thinking.

Sometimes I get to be serious, discuss what is important in making a political decision, hearing them say what they think, challenging them to think deeper. Asking them what is really important in life, to different people, to God?

Sometimes I get to be real and tell them that my friend has died, I loved him, I cry and they encourage me.

Maybe it is them I love. Because they are there everyday smiling at me, saying hello, asking me for advice, laughing with me, learning with me and just being them.

Yes, yes I love my job. Because of them.

"So, are you dating anyone?" No "Oh, well thats okay" Yes, yes I know.

So, for the 147 billionth time today, Valentine's Day, I had someone tell me: "You know that when I finally realized that I was content being single, God gave me my husband/wife. All you have to do is tell God, 'I am content being single' and you will really see him work in your life."

Hold up, wait a minute. WHATEVER. Just because people are single does not mean that we have not achieved some supernatural, super christian state where we can now recieve what God has been trying to give us, BUT, we just weren't content. I love(sarcastic) how people think that they earned or deserved the gift of marriage. Well, what about the GIFT of singleness? and I am so sure that peole who get married right out of college experienced true contentment with their singleness. Oh really? During college, surounded by all your closest friends, a few hundred peers, learning, and having the time of your life you experienced what REAL singleness is. It must have been so hard to come to grips with living single for the rest of your life. So in that moment of contentment you thought you achieved this forever state of "no matter what comes my way, I am content with singleness." Try being out of college for a few years, heck, living in your thirties, and handling most issues on your own.

ANYWAY, my whole point is... I hope that we singles realize that it is a gift for the time being. Amy Carmicheal, the Apostle Paul and many others who remained single their entire lives were so much more effective in the kingdom than many married people have been. Not that it is a comparison. One of my deepest longings is to be married. I really want to. Marriage is a good thing, and I can't wait, if God so chooses. And I have many respectable married friends and I am more than happy for them. I just want people to realize that single does not equal discontentment. Yes, I have times of discontentment, just like married girls, and I have times where I accept my position and submit my will to God. Lets encourage singles instead of feel sorry for them, lets learn from singles instead of think they have nothing to say, lets all appreciate God's choice for our lives and Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.

Connected Soles

My friend Tyler and met for breakfast the day he left for Vietnam 2 years ago. We were talking about the sacrifice of leaving home, for the advancment of the Kingdom and decided that we would trade flip flops. We traded and vowed that everytime we wear each pair of shoes we would pray for one another. And since in Southern Cal you wear flip flops almost everyday, even on dressy occasions, it worked. I am reminded of Tyler often when I look at my feet. It reminds me of the verse in scripture that says, "how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." Here in Socal and Vietnam.
BUT, something terrible happened to the pair of sandals that I had given Tyler. Yesterday I opened my email and read a title of an email from Ty. It read: "Our friendship is in peril!" I thought, OH NO! I opened the email and to my surprise Tyler had sent a picture of the broken shoe and a message. I was saddened. Our footwear friendship, our slipper solidarity, our sandal sentiment (Tyler's description) had come to an end.
Even though our our slipper solidarity has ended, Tyler and I will remain friends and make an effort to pray without the shoes. I miss my friend, and thank God that friendship has been given to us, friendship that goes beyond the durability of flip flop sandals.

Things I love, in no particular order.

I love...
God and His Word
My immediate family
a good movie
a good book
laughter
tears
feelings
singing
Mimi's Cafe
black humor
Starbucks coffee
decorating
Christmas time
Choral music
New York City
different languages
little kids
French Toast with syrup
Pizza and Rootbeer
Family time
Hangin with my parents
My Dad's sermon
My mom's laugh and her cheerfulness
Church, Sundays
my church body
playing the guitar
walks
swimming
sitting in the Cloud's spa at night when it is cold in Beaumont
The ocean
The mountains
snow
skiing
waverunners
sailing
Mel and Dorothy's and bbq
Salad and Breadsticks from the Olive Garden
Memories
Driving in my Jeep Liberty
Talking with Jenni, Art and Han
laughing at Madea with Ally
My boys Rico and Big Game James
Rachel Marshman
and singing with Rachel Marshman
Yada Yada(its are band name, lol)
Sleep
My students
Especially the 4 muskateers, DB, T Nibbly, Curtis, and Drew
Talking about God with my students
especially Kristin
There are so many things in life to love. I am very blessed. This list could go on for 1,000 pages.

1,470 Years ago...

1,470 years ago a church was built in the east. I just visited that church. It is very rare to look at something that old, let alone behold a building that old.
Yes, the Hagia Sophia. Amazing. I am in Istanbul, Turkey which used to be Constantinople. It is hard to believe that I looked at a building that was finished in the year 537 AD.
So, anyway, I had a great New Years, visiting my sister who lives here in Istanbul. How did you spend your New Year?

God is odd

Being humble is exalted.

Bathing in His blood is good.

He is just, but saved us.

He is God, and became a man.

The King of Kings, but born in a stable.

Owner of everything, but nowhere to lay His head.

Trillions of sins, one act of obedience.

Hater of sins, lover of sinners.

We must die to live forever.

Eternal life, Righteousness, Victory. All things He imputed to us.

Praise God His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts!

Merry Christmas. May you humble yourself, bathe in blood and die.

The coolness of my friend, Lindsay Cooper...

I have a friend. Her name is Coop. We never see each other, but will remain close forever. She challenges me, I miss her.
I wonder if Coop has ever thought about this before...

Upon Christmas season coming and arriving, I have begun my annual Christmas music listening ritual. This year is a bit different, and I have decided to think about the words of Christmas Carols. They are rich with meaning. I have know these things my whole life and sometimes missed it...
God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay, remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day, to save us all from Satan's power, when we were gone astray.
O TIDINGS OF COMFORT and JOY!
I like most of us during the holiday season begin to focus on what is joyful and comfortable. Being with family and friends, sitting by the fire, watching the opening of presents, the decorations all over the streets and homes, joyful, comfortable.
Do we remember that Christ our Savior came and saved us "far as the curse is found(last verse of Joy to the World)." We are cursed with sin and death, headed to eternal separation from Him, and He saved us and those "far as the curse is found." He saved me, loved me, and made me righteous. Oh the depths of the riches of Christ! What message brings more comfort and joy?
Merry Christmas Linds. Lets do coffee.
Merea

I love Jeff and Rachel Marshman

I just wanted to share with the blog world that I love Jeff and Rachel Marshman. Rachel has been an amazing friend to me in the last year. Jeff, Rachel and I have played music together, led worship places together, ate dinner on Thursday nights together, started a small group at our church, and really had fun. Don't know what I'd do without them.
It is awesome how God provides you with the people you need in your life to encourage you and just talk about the faithfulness of God. I appreciate them for listening when I had to share some life frustrations and I appreciate them for rejoicing with me.
Their 1 year old daughter Georgia is the greatest kid in the world. Maybe I could be an adopted aunt or something.

How to save a life

I love that song by the Fray. Just saying so.

A chance to forgive! Why didn't I think of that?

I read an article today about heartache and how some people say things that hurt us. These things that are said are not meant to hurt, but for some reason they linger around and pierce our feelings. We become discouraged or even angry. The article was saying that we should see these things as opportunities to forgive people. WOW. Why didn't I think of that? Sometimes I wonder at the negativity in my heart and surprise myself with how bitter I can become in a short second. I am not a bitter person, really. I am happy and people would describe me that way, why didn't I think of that?

Normal: You and I

I can't wait until its normal.
You and I together.
Till I can't sleep when you're away.
When I know what you will say.
I can't wait until its normal
To kiss you goodnight, good morning and goodbye
and you holding my hand when I cry.
I can't wait until its normal
Each holiday we spend together
Through all the changes in the weather
I can't wait until its normal
when we forget what its like to be apart
and we knew it from the very start.
I can't wait until its normal
you and I together.

Disapointment

Does anyone ever write about disapointment? I feel like blogs and myspace are all efforts to show everybody how amazingly creative you are and how eloquent you can be with your description.
Well.... right now in my life I am disapointed. Probably ultimately with God. I will just get right to the point, don't blame anything else to make myself feel more spiritual, but realize that it is Him I am disapointed with. Not because He has done anything that I should be disapointed with, for He is ever faithful. i guess what I am trying to say is that in my own self centered way of thinking, I am disapointed. Why has He not allowed certain things to happen to me? Why did He allow me to struggle with my health? Why do I feel like the only one who struggles with this? Why do I feel lonely? Why are all my friends married and having babies, while I continue down the path of single and professional? not that I am ready for that change in my life, but still. I feel different.

Why can't I snap out of it? Why can't I realize that He knows the path of life and in His presence there are treasures forever? Why can't I commit myself to His perfect purpose and be completely okay with it? and as you are reading, don't act like you have never asked these questions. Don't act like you do not struggle with this as well. I think we all struggle with God over our own desires sometimes. It is definately not excused, it is sin.

I am sinful. He is wonderful. I fall short. He surpasses comprehension. I am self-consumed. He sent His Son. I am struggling to make it. He is conforming me to Himself. Thank you Lord for promising to finish the work You started in us. Thank you Lord for Your mercies that are new every morning. Thank You for Your Word that is alive and pierces to the heart of me. Thank you for caring so much that You discipline. Thank You for being silent, so I understand Your presence even more. Thank You for loving Son, who died for me.

new york state of mind

I went to New York City for the first time last December. It had been my dream for a long time to visit the city, and yes, it surpassed all my expectations. I want to live there for awhile, attend the Brooklyn Tabernacle Church, and teach english to people who don't know it.

The city is the best and even better at Christmas time. My three friends and I decided to go and my father has a friend who works at a small theatre off Times Square. He let us stay there for an unreal price. Thanks to my dad's connection.

I don't know what was my favorite, seeing Central Park, ice skating in Bryant park while looking right up at the Empire State building, seeing 3 Broadway shows, the Brooklyn Tab Choir, the subway entertainment, or simply just being in the city.

Yes, I can truly say....I love New York.

Oh to have seasons...

So I live in Southern California, land of sunshine and summertime all year 'round. I wonder what it would be like to live in a place that changes with the seasons. The cool, crisp autumn air. Watching the leaves change and fall to the ground. Sweaters, scarfs, and jeans. The smoke of fireplaces and Pumpkin Spices. Football weather, college sweatshirts. Backyard football games (without sweating profusely), diving into a raked up pile of leaves. Harvest festivals, hayrides, pumpkin carving. Hot chocolate at a Friday night football game. Light jacket requirement.

No....I go back to the tank top wearing, sunglass wearing, hot and sunny, southern California autumn. Where I walk outside after a long air conditioned day and gasp at the warmth I feel in the middle of October. So I turn the AC on, get under a blanket, make some spiced tea and dream of seasons to come.

Well......I have a blogspot now. I was tired of looking at all my friends and not have one myself. Besides, there is somthing about being able to write your thoughts out and send them to the internet. It seems somewhat freeing. Be my blog friend.