It is funny to me how many people feel the need to feel sorry for me. How uncomfortable people are with the fact that I am, shall I dare say the dreaded word? Single. OH DEAR HEAVENS! Say it ain't so!!!!!!
I actually had someone say to me:
"My family and I were talking about you the other day Merea, and how we all feel really sorry for you."
I said, "Really? Why is that?"
They said "Well, you know, how you are single and not dating anyone and your sisters all are and they are getting married before you and everything."
YES folks. That actually happened to me. I can only laugh at that. I get comments like that often. Actually, many people feel the need to "fix" my terrible condition. Tell me all the ways I can remedy this catastrophic situation in my life. "Are you putting yourself out there?" "Do you have any guy friends?" "You know if you finally realize that you would be okay single and content, God will bring someone along." At my sister's wedding: "well Merea, we thought you would be first, we need to get you married, etc."
I just wanted to tell everyone to stop. I'm okay. Are you going to be? Stop feeling sorry for me, I do that enough on my own for Pete's sake, as we all do. lol.
Now, I must admit, I want to get married with all of my heart and soul. I want to find a Godly man, commit my life to him, and have a family. I am ready for that and have been for a very long time. BUT GOD doesn't have that for me right now. There are so many people who tell me, without even knowing my heart, that if I am content being single that God will finally bring the right man along. What if God wants me to be content IN singleness? What if God is constantly teaching me about reliance on Him as I walk this path that I would not have chosen on my own? What if He has a different plan for my life? Would that be okay?
Let me tell you about my life right now. Maybe you won't feel sorry for me anymore. I am young, 28 and beautiful, if I might say that. =) I have a job that allows me to minister to 18 and 19 year old women. I get to laugh with them, teach them, pray for them, tell them about Christ, and see them grow. I have a wonderful variety of friends, and yes, alot of good guy friends, who encourage me often. I have a beautiful apartment where I host parties and make dinner for those girls and friends all the time. God has given me the ability to sing, and I get more and more opportunity to use that everyday. I have had the opportunity to travel to nine different countries, I have seen New York at Christmas time, and am headed to Seattle for a spring break service trip. I got to be in two musical productions last year. I have a wonderful family, who have blessed me everyday in more ways than I can count. A Godly father who preaches the Word, a Mom who cares about even the details of my heart, 3 sisters who are and forever will be my best friends, and a brother who makes me cry because I am so proud of who He is becoming for Christ.
I have health and shelter.
But most of all....
I have a God, who sent His Son to die for my sins, who gave me abundant and eternal life, who adopted me into His family, made me an heir, and counted me righteous.
What more could I have?
I would challenge everyone, no matter what walk of life you are at, to encourage those single adults you know, not feel sorry for them. Invite them to your home, because they are friends, not out of pity. and introduce them to your other single friends. ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Happy Thanksgiving, from one thankful single woman, who needs to write this post more than others need to read it. Good reminder to myself.
11 comments:
Merea I truly think you are beautiful and I appreciate you SO MUCH!!! Thank you for sharing your heart!
Great word! I loved being single. I too wanted to get married but knew God's plan for me to be single was much greater than my plan! Proud of you Merea for not buying into everyone else's thinking that to be complete we have to be married. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Love you and your family! Elizabeth
Enjoy your singleness. I was single for 41 years. I have enjoyed being married the past 11 year but I had at a point finally somewhat accepted that I may remain single. Contentedness is arbitrary; some days we are more content than others. God is in control and it ultimately worked out he bless me with a wife. But I just encourage you to enjoy being single while you are. It is all good; especially if you are trusting God throughout. (by the way; I ran across this blog because I am researching what "my portion" really means.)
Awesome post Merea! Thank you!
May our awesome God continue to bless you richly with Himself.
Don Adam
(Nate's dad)
Well said.
Thanks.
Oh, and those married/taken Christians who love to say, "As soon as you are content in Christ alone, then he will come" tick me off. I think it's insanely prideful, and incorrect. I want to say, "Oh, is that how it happened for you? You MUST show me the error of my ways oh-holier-than-thou-wise-Christian". Just my 2 cents. :)
Love you.
Robin,
I couldn't agree more. People who say that need to explain to me how they have achieved this Super Spiritual State of contentedness. Have they never struggled with this issue after they have been married? I highly doubt that.
We do need to be content and have a tender (not bitter) heart when living and dealing with people. See it as a chance to show grace when hard things are said.
Love you,
Publican,
Thank you for writing, your comment encouraged me very much. "My portion" title comes from Psalm 73, the Lord is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." He is all I need.
I love my sister!!!! I love hearing you talk and reading what you write. It is consistent joy and refreshment to be encouraged in the Lord. May we continue to long for heaven where our earthly portion will become our eternal reality in the face of Christ!!!!
Merea, I am so thankful for you. I have to say you have always been an example to me of being content. I was not fully content in my singleness when I got married. I still as I am married see you as an example for contentedness in the Lord. So from one married woman to a wiser single woman thank you for your example.
Robin and Merea,
I have to say when people say that about being content before you finally get to be blessed. it seems like they think Paul was a liar when he said I have learned to be content in everything. He wasn't married. I also know that God is not a conditional Father. He has blessed me with many things that I don't ever reach any kind of state to get.
Love you.
Merea,
I do not know you, I've never met you...just came across this particular blog post when searching the internet for some Hillsong United lyrics tonight. And it wasn't an accident that I found your post. It was truly a God thing.
I am in your exact situation - 28, single, everyone thinking that the situation needs to be fixed. Although, unlike you, I am not yet content in my singleness. It is something I am working toward. But not just an hour ago, my mama and I were talking about this very thing - being content.
Reading this post was exactly what I needed tonight.
Thank you!
You have picked out dishes, right?
Pick them and buy them! Go buy dishes!
Hillary,
I am so thankful that this post was a blessing to you. I have longed struggled with the same things you describe and have always wanted to share about them in some way. So it is a huge honor that the Lord would use something that I write to bless someone I don't even know. Praise Him who knows us so well. I would encourage you to hope in God and pray for a husband. I hope He brings you someone very soon.
Blessings,
Merea
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