A word that has come upon me so swiftly in the last 4 days, I can hardly breathe.
Change has never come easy for me. Sometimes it excites me, sometimes it scares me terribly. This time it is both.
There are so many ways that my life is changing drastically this week and I am a bit overwhelmed, emotional, excited, sad, stressed, scared, confident, lost and nostalgic. Just to name a few of my feelings. and yes, I feel each of those so true through my mind and heart this week.
This week on Monday, I interviewed with the President of California Baptist University for a job that I have been interested in for awhile. The Director of the Women's Dorm. I was hired on Tuesday morning, and asked to start on Wednesday. Tuesday I went into tell Arrowhead Christian Academy, a place so near and dear to me, that I was leaving for sure. I showed up Wednesday at 8 am and have been in meetings or packing ever since. I move into a new apartment this weekend and change my life drastically.
I was given 3 hours on Thursday morning to clean out my classroom that I have been teaching in for the last 5 years. I didn't realize the toll it would take on me. As I opened each desk drawer and cleaned out each cabinet I saw the many student projects, personal thank you letters and pictures that I have kept for encouragment. See, I had fallen deeply in love with each of them, in the most sincere way I can explain. Each day I had them smiling at me, learning from me, listening, and watching them grow. I had a staff and faculty around me that committed to the cause of Christ so passionately and encouraged me to do the same. I am having a hard time leaving so quickly. I knew there would come a time, but I didn't think I wouldn't have the time to say thank you and tell them I will miss them and take time in my room closing the door to that chapter.
But I want to say that. To the students, fellow faculty, and staff of ACA: It has been an amazing 5 years, I have lived and learned along side of you, seen you grow, prayed for your hurts and you have prayed for mine, and seen Our Savior in you. Thank you and Goodbye. I will miss all of you, and I hope to see you soon. Go Eagles!
Change also came in my family: our dog, Sadie, a beautiful golden retriever, who was in our family since I was in elementary school, died on Wednesday. Everytime I came home to our house in Beaumont for the last 15 or so years, she was there to greet me. When we were growing up and one of us wasn't home, she would wait at the door for us sleeping and then when we came home she would return to her regular bed. She was a part of our family. I know that might sound odd to some, but she was. We even had a stocking for her at Christmas time. I miss her. She had a rapidly growing tumor and was in pain and my Dad decided to put her down on Wednesday. Which was day one of my new job. Change wasn't good then. Bye Sadie. Thanks for being such a cute puppy, fun companion to take walks with, and always happy to see me.
Along with all the other things I will be leaving my two wonderful roomies, Colleen and Sarah, to live alone in the top floor of a girl's freshman dorm. There is an apartment there, of good size, but it is not the same. I know that the ministry that will take place as a result of living there will far outweigh the hardships, it is just another one of the many drastic changes that I am facing with excitement and timidity. To Colleen and Sarah: Thank you for showing me unconditional love, being my sounding boards, counseling me through hard times, and having lots of fun. I will miss getting to see you everyday. You both mean so much to me. I love you both. There are not enough words.....
So yes, CHANGE. Something that has slapped me in the face and delighted my soul all at the same time.
I will be glad on that day, when seasons stop changing, we say no more goodbyes, we are not scared, stressed or tired. But our faith will be made sight, hope will be realized, and prayer will turn into praise. Praise, to the unCHANGEing God, the beginning and the End, our Life. Him. who changed us.